House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Three Strikes

Back from break, Taub doesn't hesitate to tell House his diagnosis was incorrect. House tells Taub it isn't nice to revel in his boss's failures while Kumar backs Taub up by saying that Jeff tested negative for Williams. They have tests for Williams? You'd think these doctors would try running the test before going to the patient and pronouncing him genetically defective and stupid, then. Good thing Jeff is nice enough to forgive and forget. Kumar goes on, but House interrupts him to give him his performance review, which he can impressively recite from memory: "you have a friendly demeanor, but you sometimes get too involved. You relate well to your peers and patients and you complete tasks in a timely manner." While Biana and Taub glare at Kumar, all jealous of his positive review, Foreman asks how that is supposed to help Kumar improve. House says it probably didn't help Wilson either, as this is one of Wilson's old reviews that House simply copied and gave to Kumar without even bothering to cross Wilson's name off of it. Foreman wants to help the little New Cottages grow and change through performance reviews, but House ignores him and says Jeff has neurosyphilis. So did Jeff's natural friendliness cause him to get syphilis or did the syphilis make him friendly? It's like the chicken or the egg question, isn't it? Kumar looks up from his fake review long enough to volunteer to run the tests. Biana and Taub follow him out.

When the kids are safely out of earshot, Foreman says Kumar is running the test despite his own belief that House's diagnosis is wrong because Kumar is "a wimp" and afraid of House. Meanwhile, what is Foreman's job? He sits around looking smug and that's it. I don't understand the point of hiring him back or paying Omar Epps a salary if this is all he's going to be limited to. Foreman Wilsons that House needs to give the reviews so that the New Cottages may learn and stuff. You mean like Foreman did? He learned so much from House that he's unhireable anywhere else. Which is why he's worked for House for four years, which is more than enough time for him to realize that House isn't going to give any fucking performance reviews and no one can make him or present it in a way that will change House's mind. Foreman volunteers to do the reviews for House, which was what House was setting him up for all along. Well, it's not like Foreman's schedule was super-busy anyway, right?

Jeff denies having syphilis, of course. Kumar says Jeff can't know that his wife didn't cheat on him and give it to him. Jeff half-smiles (stroke, you know) and says this is a waste of time and that he (and, I guess, his wife?) were tested for STDs when they signed up for the Peace Corps. Kumar says that was ten years ago, which is plenty of time for his wife to stray. Jeff says he's not as naïve as Kumar thinks he is, and then naively says knows his wife, and that she loves him and always has. That still doesn't mean she wouldn't cheat. Just ask Taub.

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House

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