Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!

House has been allowed back into Apple's room. He hovers over her bed. She can't see with the giant bandage covering the top of her face, but she smells his presence. I wonder what he smells like. House takes a moment to abuse the nurse and order more peppermint tea via the emergency button. She asks House if he ever heard of the boy who cried wolf. House says no matter how many times a boy cries to his mother that he's being eaten by a wolf, she'll come running every time. Or move to a wolf-free neighborhood. The nurses leave. Evil Nurse Brenda would have killed House for that. House pushes the emergency button again, and yet again, the nurse comes running. "Just proving a point!" House says. She should know better than to give him attitude. Now she'll be running back and forth to Apple's room for the rest of Apple's stay at PPTH. At least she's getting exercise.

House tells Apple that the world is ugly, but not as ugly as Apple thought. Her eye works and the cornea works, but her brain didn't. With that, House unwraps the bandage and says that whatever Apple was seeing before, she was seeing it differently that the rest of the world. "And now? Things are gonna be ... beautiful?" Apple asks. "Things will be what they are," House says. Aw, he almost cares. Apple looks around, and then at House. "How do I look?" he asks, hoping for "beautiful." She gives him "sad." She should be more grateful. Now she can be an architect again, and House has saved her from a fate worse than death: life as a math teacher.

Back in his office, House calls the PI and hires him to be his new friend. Aw, what about O'Shea? He's free and pays for lunch!

You can read more from Sara Morrison at, which she occasionally updates when she has something to complain about. Or you can email her at She's still on the lookout for a few good lentil soup recipes, so don't be shy, now!

What ails the staff at PPTH? We've got the diagnoses.

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