House

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Before House can take things to the next level, Foreman walks up and reports that Apple's right eye is failing. House insists that it's fine. All the others' transplant stayed perfectly healthy while an unrelated organ shut down. They're looking for anything but Apple's eye to be affected. Even so, Foreman wants to take the eye out just to be safe. House points out that it's her only working eye and turns to O'Shea and asks if he has an ethical problem with what House is doing right now (what, trying to save the patient's sight? How dare he!) that he can express in a unique way that will cause House to question his diagnosis but not admit it to anyone. "Yes," says O'Shea. With that, House invites him over. "I'm not gay," O'Shea says. Heh heh heh. "Neither am I," House says; "if you don't want to have sex, that's cool with me." For some strange reason, O'Shea doesn't accept the invitation. "I'll grow on you," House threatens. I like O'Shea.

Poor old Frank and his failing pancreas. He suffers in bed with his wife standing at his side, tending to him with tears in her eyes. Heartbreaking! But we don't care about Frank and the camera quickly moves off of him and over to Apple. She stops halfway through reading the eye chart to request room change, preferably a room with no dying old guy in it. House tells her to pay close attention to him since whatever he has, she'll have sooner or later. That's what you get for trying to engage House in any kind of conversation. "Am I gonna die?" Apple asks. For a math teacher, she's a little slow on the uptake. House tells Apple to stop being selfish and start reading the eye chart. The line says "PECFD." Apple reads "FEOSP." Those are not the same. House actually looks like he gives a crap for once and sighs a "damn." Foreman tells Apple she can kiss her right eye good-bye. Apple's upset, but House tells her to look on the bright side: at least she isn't dying (yet). Not only that, but she also can keep her eye. You see, Apple read the line without squinting, which means she could see just fine. Her brain, on the other hand, can't tell F's from S's. That means it's too late to remove the eye. They'll have to remove Apple's entire head. Well, that should be an interesting medical procedure. I'm looking forward to seeing what questionable medical science the show can use to explain this. Oh, I see they won't be using any medical equipment at all -- House whips out a cleaver and starts hacking away. Of course, he didn't really cut her head off. She was just hallucinating/sort of telling the future (spoiler alert!). The hallucination proves that the problem is in Apple's brain and not her eye.

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House

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