House

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Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Friend$hip

If you were wondering what a four-year-old (although, really, the girl looked much older than that. Like, twelve) getting a colonoscopy without anesthesia looks like, be sure to pay attention to this scene, which unnecessary and horrible. The mother watches from outside and asks Hadley why her daughter has to be awake. "We need her to tell us when it hurts," Hadley says. Um, it's a colonoscopy. On a four-year-old. It ALL hurts. Hadley just says the kid will "get over it." Her husband, on the other hand, might not have recovered from hearing that his wife had an affair and his daughter isn't biologically his. See, ladies? That's what you get for cheating on your husbands: a tube shoved up your baby's rear. And I know kids are supposed to be resilient and all, but I don't think you just "get over" having a colonoscopy at four. Poor thing. Her life was going to be tough enough when she entered kindergarten and her classmates made fun of how freakishly tall she is. Now she'll have a lifelong fear of doctors and possibly ass issues, too.

Meanwhile, House is using his new PI resource to spy on O'Shea from the vantage point of an ice cream truck. Yes, an ice cream truck randomly parked on the side of the road with a "closed" sign on it. That's not at all suspicious. PI says O'Shea isn't "right" for House. House asks what he found out about him, but a kid bangs on the door of the truck and demands ice cream. PI yells at her for not being able to read. Oh, just give her some ice cream. She's had a long hard day of colonoscopies without anesthesia. PI decides to give House a life lesson on friendship, saying that instead of having a potential friend investigated, House should trust O'Shea. House says PI is currently taking pictures of a guy who's having an affair with his own sister, so I guess PI is not staked outside O'Shea's house. Or maybe he is and O'Shea has got some ISSUES. Why cheat on your spouse with your own sibling? If that's how you feel, you should a) get therapy (lots and lots and lots) or b) not get married in the first place and live with the sibling but please don't have children. PI says that House doesn't want him to check out O'Shea. He wants him to check out Wilson. House gets all defensive and asks PI how he knows about that. The PI says that's his job. He checks out his clients as much as he checks out the people those clients ask him to. The PI continues that House wants to know if Wilson is "pining" for him, or if there's a hint that he'll come back to House - or if, more likely, there's something House can do to "make" him come back. "Is there?" asks House. "No. No, there's nothing," PI says. House is sad. The PI charges him nine hundred dollars. House is sadder. Fortunately for House, he gets a page before he has to pay up.

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House

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