House is either frozen to death or napping on a park picnic table when Cuddy comes up and says she knows all about his shirking activities. House is pissed that Cameron told on him, but Cuddy says, "She got punished -- she's stuck with another dying patient." Well, if he wasn't dying before, he will be now that Cameron's his doctor. House pops some pills, and Cuddy is outraged. She stupidly believed that House was off drugs after rehab. She only lied on the stand because she thought House was getting clean. House says that if she's going to hold jail over him every time she wants him to do his job, he'd rather be in jail. "You owe me," Cuddy tells him. And the guy who paralyzed a patient's lungs for no reason suddenly develops a sense of honor.
House looks up a patient's nose, which we get to see in Patient Nostril Cam. Because didn't we all want to see what an exam looks like from a booger's point of view? And it's good that they throw the poorly-neglected Magic Schoolbus Cam a bone every now and then. House compliments the patient on his excellent nose-hair grooming techniques and the guy -- whose complaint of dryness in his nose brought him to PPTH -- says that good grooming is important, since people judge you by how you look. People also judge you for using a free clinic instead of seeing your doctor. For instance, the guy says, House looks like someone who doesn't care very much about his personal appearance, so the patient was afraid House would be equally shabby in his work. And yet, the patient allowed him to examine him anyway, so...who cares? House interrupts the guy to ask if he uses toenail clippers to trim his nose hair. The guy says he does, and House says that he has athlete's foot in his nose. And yet, apparently, not in his feet. Oh well, I'm sure Tough Actin' Tinactin' works in noses, too.
House walks out into the waiting area and offers fifty dollars to any patient who will leave right now. Cuddy can't believe this, and I have to praise Lisa Edelstein for coming up with fresh new ways to be shocked and angered by House's actions. She has to do it at least once every episode, and yet, it's always fun to watch. Some Wilford Brimley-looking guy walks up, coughs into his handkerchief, and asks for the money. House and Cuddy both notice that the guy's coughing up blood, but House doesn't really care. He pays the guy off, and Cuddy calls House into her office. So I'm guessing that the old guy took his money and left and then proceeded to die from tuberculosis because House didn't want to do his job? That's cool.









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