One Day, One Room

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C+ | 1 USERS: A
One Day, One Womb

...but is interrupted by some random woman calling out for a crash cart. That woman is Dr. Stone, who has managed to psychotherapy Eve into a drug overdose. Wow, great job, there, Dr. Stone. She and Dr. Moron should open up their own practice and then people like Mr. B-Plot could go there and not get any medical help. Cuddy and House rush for Eve's room, but neither of them actually managed to bring a crash cart with them, so that's helpful. Dr. Stone says that she gave Eve a few benzodiazepines to sedate her after Eve just sat there for an hour and refused to speak. Eve grabbed the entire bottle and swallowed it like a champ. Now she's on the floor seizing with foam coming out of her mouth. House gets uncharacteristically concerned about Eve, accusing Dr. Stone of saying something to her that made this happen. Something like "Hey rape victim, you're raping me now"? Why was Dr. Stone sedating her at all, though? Eve seemed fine until she went and OD'd. By the way, ODing in the middle of a hospital? Probably more of a cry for help than a serious suicide attempt.

House sits at Eve's bedside and waits for her to wake up, playing with his PSP. I guess the park finally kicked him out, so he had no choice but to be here. He takes the restraints off of Eve after she says she won't OD anymore; he tells her she'll be fine, physically, and that he's only here because he was "ordered" to be. "Why would you tell me that?" Eve asks. Um...because you asked, Eve? I guess she was expecting House to answer "I don't know," since that's her whiny response when House asks her why she wants him there. "Can't we just talk?" she asks. House says that she can use the phone and call a friend. Or, better yet, the police. Unless, of course, she happens to reach Shitter's desk, in which case he'll doggedly pursue her for stealing those benzos and not rest until her ass is behind bars while the rapist runs around free as a bird. House sighs and asks if she wants to talk about her rape. She doesn't. Does she want to talk about her STD medicine? She doesn't. What does she want to talk about? "I don't know. Anything." Except for rape and STD medicine, I guess. House gets fed up and ties Eve back to the bed. Ha!

What's the differential diagnosis for some girl who thinks House is the best person to help her through her rape trauma? Cameron says that House should stay with Eve because Eve wants to talk to him for whatever reason. House says that he sucks at this kind of thing, and Cameron emphatically says he doesn't. Yeah, Cameron? I don't think putting a reassuring hand on Eve's shoulder is going to cut it this time. Chase decides that if he's only going to get four lines in each episode, one of them will make him look like an asshole for no reason, and snaps at Cameron that her "romantically wanting to believe [that House is secretly a sensitive guy] is never gonna make it true." Foreman says that Eve probably wants "normalcy," and that is not a real word. Curse you, Warren G. Harding! Not only did you introduce a made-up word into the American lexicon, but you also totally sucked at being President and set the stage for the Great Depression! Foreman thinks that House should indulge Eve and do his best not to drive her to another suicide attempt. They can just talk about normal, everyday stuff instead of the rape. Cameron, on the other hand, thinks that House should try to get Eve to talk about the rape, because only then can she get over it. Foreman says that we should focus on the good stuff that happens in life and not dwell on the crappy stuff. That's the kind of thing you advocate when you, oh, let's say, steal your co-worker's medical paper ideas and then try to infect her with a mysterious deadly disease.

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