House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 1234 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Load Of Bull

Carnell stops by House's room to see what's going on. House is practicing his archery skills, and dares Carnell to put an apple on his head and let House shoot at him. Carnell says no way, but Hooker #5 is down for it. She stands in front of the door with the apple on her head, and Carnell says this doesn't seem like a good idea. House says if anything bad happens, he's a doctor so he'll able to fix it. Hooker #5 will have to wait, though, as the Cottages call House to ask what Lane's nasty feet are about. House rattles off a few suggestions that Taub says don't explain Lane's other symptoms, and then all the Cottages are distracted by Carnell's frantic shouts of "no!" and "you're gonna kill her!" as House draws his bow. He suddenly lowers it when he thinks of another diagnosis of a fungal infection, which explains the feet, bleeding, and disappearing masses. The Cottages agree, but say it'll be difficult to prove the diagnosis since Lane's body is full of those unscannable metal plates. They figure the best place to start looking is Lane's heart, and that if they inject ice water into Lane's chest cavity, it could give them enough time to get a scan of the area before the metal rod holding his ribs together becomes too hot for Lane to bear. House doesn't really care what they do, as he is focused on shooting the apple above Hooker #5's head. Carnell begs him to stop, but House takes aim and fires. His shot is a little low. Hooker #5 groans and clutches her bloody, arrow-filled chest. Carnell screams. "Oops," House says. He quickly hangs up on the Cottages, who pretty much expect this from House and so aren't particularly concerned. Carnell tends to Hooker #5, who is now dead on the floor, and tells House to call an ambulance. House asks why, since Hooker #5 is perfectly healthy. Sure enough, she laughs and sits up, and she and House show a very relieved Carnell House's trick arrow. I guess House is still tipping generously, as Carnell cheerfully calls him an ass and leaves to fetch the Colt .45 House requests for his next trick. He runs into Wilson on the way out. Wilson tells Carnell not to get House a gun, as if Carnell has any loyalty to Wilson, the guy who isn't tipping him.

House

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