House
Painless

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Everybody Hurts

This time, Zach's the person in pain. He's lying on the floor of the hospital, screaming. And the nurses thought the best thing to do was to take the time to find out who he was at PPTH to see and then who that guy's doctors are? While the mother begs for this not to be the same thing that's wrong with Zach's father and everyone stands over the kid looking concerned, House decides that Zach is faking. He limps to Jeff's room and finds an empty bottle of rubbing alcohol in his bed. Yes, he used Zach to distract everyone so he could kill himself. There won't be enough therapy in the world for Zach now. Not like the suicide watch people really needed to be distracted, since I don't think there is anyone on suicide watch and if there is, he or she clearly sucks at it. Kumar and Taub rush to get Jeff some life-saving dialysis while House goes off to yell at the kid. He lifts him to his feet, and Zach claims he's hurting him. Great, that's another traumatizing memory. I once had a fourth grade teacher who was evil, so she sent me out in the hall for accidentally bringing a pencil to the reading group. When she yelled at me, she grabbed my wrist so hard that it left marks. Although I guess in comparison to all the other stuff Zach's experienced in this episode, this is pretty minor. House tells Zach the pain will help him do a better acting job next time he tries to fake it so his dad can kill himself. Zach sobs that House can't help his father and begs him to let Jeff die already. I'm having a hard time buying any of this. Kids really don't have the capacity to understand that a parent would be better off dead and not in pain than alive and in pain.

The team returns to the meeting room, but they're out of ideas. Hadley says nothing explains Jeff's symptoms. This gives House an idea: maybe whatever injury caused Jeff's initial pain has healed and can't be found. It's the drugs themselves causing Jeff's pain now. Apparently, the pain receptors in your brain can be total assholes and rewire themselves to read painkilling opioids as pain-causers. Wow, that sucks. I hope my body never tries to play opposite day on me. House orders the Cottages to take Jeff off the painkillers. Kumar points out that this will be very unpleasant for Jeff, but House thinks it's the only way to ultimately help him. Hadley tries to Make It Personal by asking House how he would feel if they took his Vicodin away. House points out that he's not the patient. And it's been done before.

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