House
Paternity

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Re: Lax

Dan isn't on the roof, though; he's standing in a lacrosse field. Chase runs up and says that there are treatments for MS; a cure could be found. And then we see that we're actually standing on the hospital roof. Dan still thinks he's playing lacrosse. He takes a step off the edge...

The next morning, House arrives at work at the same as Foreman is trying to leave. Foreman informs him that they found Dan on the edge of the roof. House basks in the glow of being right yet again, and then is alarmed when Foreman says that Dan was conscious and thought he was on a lacrosse field. Chase tackled him before he could plunge into the Great End Line. "How come you didn't do it?" House asks. "I am black, but he was closer," Foreman responds. The elevator arrives. "Come on, you'll ride up with me," House says, which is about as close to an acknowledgement of a good comeback as Foreman will get. Poor Foreman just wants to go to bed.

In the office, House says that Dan's nightly wanderin' means he doesn't have MS. His parents will be thrilled, he says. Or at least, his mother will be. His dad probably doesn't know-- and Foreman interrupts to ask why this rules out MS. House says that the kid was conscious and hallucinating. Therefore, it's not a night terror. So what else could it be? "What about sex?" Cameron says, and she probably deserves what she gets for setting herself up like that. House turns and says: "Well, it might get complicated. We work together. I'm older, certainly -- but maybe you like that?" Cameron says she meant that Dan might have neurosyphilis. "Nice cover," House says, winking. Chase says that the test for that was negative as he tries not to laugh at all the sexual harassment. House says that false negatives on RPR (rapid plasma regain) tests happen 30% of the time, although that's what he said about false paternity too, so I don't know how accurate it is. Anyway, House doesn't want to delay treatment for something so frivolous as test results, so he orders them to treat Dan for syphilis now by injecting penicillin directly into his brain. Foreman says that a high-volume drug like that would kill him. House says he is obviously aware of that, and asks if anyone thinks there might be a way to inject the penicillin safely. Chase looks around, and then slowly raises a finger, because he's a suck-up. House calls him on his bullshit by asking what that way is, and Chase has no idea. He just wanted to vote for what he thought was the right answer. And then Foreman remembers that Dan has a shunt in his brain, so they can inject all the penicillin into it that they want. House orders this to be done via lumbar puncture. Oh, no.

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