House
Perils of Paranoia

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Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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House of Lies

Park asks Taub what he thinks, and he says that stockpiling weapons doesn't rise to the level of mental illness. And he encourages her not to freak out about being picked last for dodgeball. She thinks nobody respects her. Foreman interrupts their postapocalyptic planning. He would like Taub to stop telling nurses he needs a girlfriend. Taub denies doing any such thing and suggests that everyone's suddenly asking Foreman out of their own accord. Foreman leaves and Taub cheerfully admits to Park that he was lying.

House and Wilson at the cafe. House insists that he doesn't have a gun. Wilson thinks he does, based on his firm belief that House likes dangerous things. He pretends to take House's word for it, but he doesn't. So this is what the two of them will be occupying themselves with for the rest of the episode. Fine.

Chase and Adams compare notes. Both tests came up negative, and Adams insists that the whole team disagrees a lot, so it's not just a thing between her and Park. Chase, in a refreshingly direct way, explains that the only reason he didn't want to partner up with Park is because she's weird. But, he points out, lots of good doctors are weird. For example, House himself, who's loopy as a loon. Anyway, Adams is also weird, but Chase allows some latitude because she's hot. The talk drifts to guns and Chase speculates that Adams has a gun, but not for protection. He thinks she has one because they're fun. She admits it. Chase claims to have guns back in Australia, which he uses for hunting kangaroos for their meat. It's a wacky lie! See, there are lots of lies in this episode, which totally justifies the title "House of Lies." Plus, the patient's house wasn't what his wife thought it was. I stand by that title and I resent your attempt to make me second-guess myself!

Park tells Mrs. Patient that she doesn't have to stay all night. Then Park retreats to the monitor room so the Patient family can have a scene. He says that having a well-stocked bunker is just like having a spare tire. You'd rather have a bunch of automatic weapons and not need them than the reverse, right? He's got a lot of colorful wires attached to his head. But the real problem is that he's suddenly bleeding from his knee!

Everyone convenes in House's office. The patient has a fever now. If he's paranoid (which Park still says he's not), it's been that way for a year. They speculate that it might be systemic sclerosis, so Taub wants to biopsy him and start on medicine. Park wants to wait for the results of the biopsy before starting the treatment, which leads House to dare Adams to disagree with her. She doesn't, so House calls them both idiots. Everyone but Park scurries off to start the latest plan, but she stays behind for a showdown with House. Essentially, she objects to being manipulated. Not to being called an idiot, mind you, because she doesn't think House really thinks that. But she thinks that if House feels the need to manipulate her into being useful, that's a real problem. House says he's harassing her partly to make her useful and partly to amuse himself. He assures her that people respect her, although they don't like her. It didn't seem to me that she was worried much about what the rest of the team thought. I think she just wants House to stop trying to cause trouble. Good luck with that!

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House

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