House
Perils of Paranoia

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Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
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House of Lies

House comes home. He looks suspicious, then points a desk lamp at the floor, where he sees a tripwire. He looks around suspiciously and sees a door ajar. He hits the tripwire with his cane. A net flashes out, and Wilson jumps out with duct tape, yelling "Gotcha!" House calls him a poor, dumb bastard, and leads him out. Then House goes into the bathroom, where he discovers that Wilson has disabled the doorknobs. He's trapped. "Touché."

Foreman and Anita make out in the entryway to her apartment. But they're interrupted by a man's voice. She says it's not her boyfriend...but her husband. Out goes Foreman!

The patient's fever is going through the roof, which Park says means it can't be Gad. Adams says they might just have started their treatment too late. On the phone, House says to do more steroids. Park says it could kill him. She rejects his plan! House backs off and says to check for some DNA problems that sound complicated to spell correctly. Adams is outraged, but House says he changed his mind. Then he hangs up, because, as you should have realized, he's still locked in his bathroom at home. Wilson opens the door and, waving a metal detector around, says that there is no gun. But he did find his sunglasses and tennis racket. And his money clip. House wants to go to bed, unless Wilson wants to do a cavity search. He apparently does not. Make up your own joke about fanfic and put it here. I can't do everything for you.

Adams thinks it's ridiculous to look for an infection when they could be treating the patient for Gad. Park says that it can't be Gad because the patient would be having seizures. Adams says the infection doesn't show up in his blood, but Park thinks it's just a matter of time. Chase is getting annoyed by them. Foreman sticks his head in to call Taub an ass. He blames Taub for him ever getting the idea to go on a date. He tells Taub to stay out of his business, but Taub thinks he's blaming the wrong guy. Foreman leaves and Chase calls Taub an idiot.

BEEP BEEP BEEP! The patient is anaphylaxing, which I did not realize was a word. It's time for a tracheotomy, and it's being done with a scalpel, not a pen. That's a nice change! Normally on television, tracheotomies are done with random junk. Like that one House did in prison where he used a shiv. But it doesn't work because the trachea is blocked below the incision point. Taub tries Racemic Epinephrine. The nurse says they've already tried that, but Taub says they're trying it again.

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