House
Pilot

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Cane And Able

House ambles down the hall to his team and reports that, despite his powerful speech, Radfafa is still refusing treatment. The doctors wonder if they can say she isn't competent to get a court order overriding her wishes, but House has suddenly remembered his medical ethics and says that they can't because Radfafa is competent. Wilson, who also apparently moonlights as a psychologist, says that Radfafa isn't a file to House anymore; she's a real, live, person. That is subject to change during the coming weekend, however. The doctors asks House what he's going to do. House says that he figured out what was wrong with Radfafa, so his work is done. It's not his problem that he didn't have enough proof for her.

As House is limping away in defeat, Chase pipes up to say that he may know a safe, non-invasive way to prove that Radfafa has a tapeworm: an x-ray. It wouldn't have shown up on the CAT scan because the cyst a tapeworm makes when it burrows into you looks the same as other brainly things. But they can do an x-ray on Radfafa's thigh, figuring that if there's a worm in her head, there's bound to be a few in tapeworm favorite hang-out spot, the thighs. One good thing about having dead legs muscles like House: no tapeworms.

Radfafa has agreed to the x-ray, apparently deciding there's no way it can kill her. She probably thought that about the MRI, too, and about the steroids. The doctors take the x-rays, we see a couple of computer graphics, and lo and behold, we have a nasty little tapeworm. Chase shows it to Radfafa and says that she's had worms for about six to ten years. "Do I have more?" she asks. "Probably!" says Chase, chuckling away at poor old worm-ridden Radfafa. If her students find out about this, she will never hear the end of it. Thirty years down the road, she'll still be known first and foremost as the teacher with a worm in her brain. Chase hands Radfafa two pills and tells her to take them every day for a month, and then she'll be cured. Hopefully those pills will work on her dying brain worm first, because she doesn't really have a month to wait around. Chase lists off the pill side effects, all of which Radfafa has had in a more serious form already. She gladly swallows them.

House limps into his office, hoping for a nice, long General Hospital viewing session free of human contact. But it is not to be -- Cameron is waiting for him, and she wants to know why House hired her. House says that what he thinks doesn't matter, because he's a jerk. Cameron says she doesn't want to work for someone who doesn't respect her. She doesn't really mean it, though, since she doesn't quit immediately when House says he hired her because she is "extremely pretty." "It's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby," he says. Except it's a piece of ass. "I worked very hard to get where I am," Cameron says. House says that's true; she worked very hard. But she didn't have to. And that is why he hired her: because she was so beautiful that she didn't have to be a doctor, but she become one anyway: "You worked your stunning little ass off" instead of taking the easier road of marrying rich or being a model. "Gorgeous women do not go to medical school," House says, "unless they are as damaged as they are beautiful." Yeah, or, THEY WANT TO BE DOCTORS. What the hell?! Awww, I like this guy for the entire episode, and then he makes an inexcusable asshole comment like that and I have to kinda hate him. House asks Cameron what her damage is -- physical abuse? Sexual assault? Cameron stares at him, and then leaves to answer a page.

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House

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