House
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Cane And Able

...nope! House just has a brilliant idea about Miss Radfafa's treatment. He sends his team an urgent page, which they get while visiting Miss Radfafa, trying to get a medical history that isn't FILLED with EVIL HUMAN LIES like about how her mother died from a "heart attack," i.e. her mother was a syphilitic cross-dresser. The team leaves the room to answer House's page, and are annoyed to see he's right outside the room, but paged them because he didn't feel like actually walking into a room with a patient in it. Why didn't House consider pathology as an exciting career field? The only patients you need to see then are dead, and dead men tell no tales. Anyway, House thinks Radfafa has cerebral vasculitis, which can be cured by steroids. As he speaks, Miss Radfafa isn't too sick to lift her head off the pillow and look through the blinds of her room to see Dr. House. She stares long and hard at his cane, because people with mobility issues are just that much of a novelty for those in the greater Trenton area. Anyway, Foreman and Cameron quickly determine that House doesn't have much more to go on than an assumption, but he wants to pump Radfafa full of steroids anyway. He figures that if he's right, Miss Radfafa will get better and his theory will be proven correct. "And if we're wrong?" asks Cameron. "Then her voice will deepen and she'll get ass acne," says House. Actually, he just says that if the steroids don't work then they'll have ruled something out.

The doctors prepare Miss Radfafa for her steroids. Chase takes a moment to point out to Miss Radfafa that she hasn't had many visitors, and asks if she has a boyfriend or any friends, like, I'm sure a reminder of how UTTERLY ALONE she is in this world and how no one would miss her if she died will put Miss Radfafa on the road to recovery there. It turns out that since Miss Radfafa doesn't have anyone in her life to devote time to, she has lots of free time for herself, which she spends studying medicine. So she knows that Chase's explanation of how they're stopping radiation therapy to try the steroid "alternative treatment" is a LIE. Steroids aren't an alternative to radiation. Chase and Cameron exchange looks, and then Cameron admits that they're treating her for vasculitis. Miss Radfafa is so happy that she doesn't have a deadly brain tumor that she doesn't find it all at strange and wrong that getting any information from her doctors is like pulling teeth. Out in the hallway, Chase is pissed at Cameron for giving Radfafa what may very well be "false hope." There's nothing stopping them from just telling her exactly what's going on with her own body, and that the steroid treatment is a shot in the dark, is there?

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House

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