House
Poison

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Oedipus Complex

The A-patient gets some medicine that will clear up the organophosphate poisoning they believe he has. Except that we're still about forty minutes from the end of the episode, so we know that what it will really do is make him worse. Mom complains that her son does not seem to be improving with the medicine, and Chase says it usually takes a little time, but that the bloodwork was conclusive, and there's no need to doubt that Matt was poisoned by a pesticide. Monitors start beeping as Matt's heart rate (I think that's what the number on the monitor thing is) drops. Chase whips out the external pacemaker pad things, which will make Matt's heart beat for him.

After the commercial, Chase tells Mom they're going to keep Matt on the pacemaker pads for another hour and "see what happens." Mom's not too thrilled with this policy.

Back at the office, House and the Cottages try to figure this whole mess out. Cameron wonders if they were wrong about the organophosphate poisoning theory, but Foreman says he ran the tests twice and got the same results. So Cameron suggests giving Matt a stronger medication, earning her a sarcastic smackdown from House, who lives by the theory that there's no need to take a weaker drug when there's a stronger one available. Why take an Advil when you've got an unlimited supply of Vicodin? Foreman says that Columbia has actually been developing drugs for the Army that target the specific poisoning the patient has, and therefore are more effective. So if they find out what exactly Matt was exposed to, they can give him the Army drugs and he'll get better. Chase wants to know what the success rate of this still-experimental drug is, and House responds that he's sure it's very high, because this is the U.S. Army: "Be all you can be." Welcome to the new century, House! The new motto is "an Army of one," which House would probably adopt as his personal mantra if he knew about it. Chase says that the chances of Matt's surviving with the drugs they have available to them are "minimal at best," and House accuses him of having a "stiff-upper-lip-British" way of saying the kid is dead meat. "I'm Australian," Chase says. House says that as long as they put the Queen on their money, it's the same thing. Canadians put the Queen on their money, too, but the only people they ever get confused with are Minnesotans. ["Hey! ...Fine, that is true." -- Wing Chun]

House says they'll go with the Army drugs. Chase reminds them that they need to find out which organophosphate they're dealing with in order to know which drug to administer. "Get all of 'em," House and Foreman say in unison. Foreman's distraught look upon realizing that he and House are becoming twinsies is just great. I really enjoyed him in this episode. Why does Cameron get all the Cottage screentime when Foreman is so much more interesting to watch? While they're waiting for the Army drugs to arrive, House wants the Cottages to figure out what Matt was exposed to. "If we figure out how he got exposed, we'll figure out what he was exposed to," Foreman says. When I said I wanted him to get Cameron's screentime, I didn't mean for him to get her stupid-ass lines. House tells them to start with the vegetable garden from which the main ingredient of Mom's tomato sauce came. Maybe Matt accidentally sprayed himself in the face while spraying the garden with pesticides? Cameron goes to check that out, while Foreman calls the Army and Chase works on keeping Matt from dying. House will have lunch.

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