House
Post Mortem

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: A- | 2 USERS: B-
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Road Trip!

With 25 seconds to go, Wilson is desperately eating steak as House spoons it into his mouth. He swallows the last mouthful as the clock reaches zero. Congratulations, Kyle! He throws up just after getting his picture taken for the wall. House asks, "That still counts, right?"

Treiber is rolled into surgery. Chase asks why he treats Chase like an idiot. The answer is that he feels that Chase has wasted the spot he got on House's team. Treiber wanted that spot. "You've been given everything. Looks. Talent. My future." And nine years later, he's done nothing with it.

Wilson throws up in the bathroom and says he's glad he did it. He was a hero for "a bunch of morons I'll never see again." He goes off to get dessert.

Treiber's surgery. Chase asks Taub how long he'll work for House. He thinks a fellowship is supposed to teach you to stand on your own. Foreman's in charge here, Cameron's in charge of some hospital in Chicago... then Taub cuts in with, "And Kutner and Amber are dead and Thirteen is having sweet Sapphic sex on some island." They find something in the small intestine, but it's not an intussusception. I'm pretty glad I found out how to spell that, because it's coming up a lot.

The team is in House's office. House hasn't checked his voicemail. Chase doesn't care about House's problems and suggests intermittent porphyria for Treiber. Adams is outraged that they'll lie to Treiber again. "This is a drug that will damage him if you're wrong."

Wilson says he wants a threesome. House asks if he doesn't want to do a twosome first. All right, boys, settle down. Wilson says he wants two women. He doesn't want to think about consequences. House says he'll tell him what to do.

Treiber is a little skeptical about the porphyria. Chase promises him that House believes strongly that this is the right call. He injects some drugs into the IV tube.

Wilson has shaved his head at House's instructions. No, wait, he just has a bald cap. I assume he's going for Cancer Victim cred, although since he didn't do the radiation, he has to fake some of the signifiers. House sees a woman at the bar and says that she's empathetic, which means she's a hooker who gave him a "cancer rate." Wilson doesn't want to pay for it, but House says it's on him. The bartender comes over and House tells her his friend is dying of cancer. She tells him not to give up hope. House tries some obvious sex puns.

It's not porphyria. Treiber wants to talk to House. Chase tells him they don't know where he is.

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House

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