House

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Sara M: B | 1507 USERS: B-
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House arrives home to find a very satisfied Wilson holding his Step by Step book. House seems unfazed by Wilson's discovery, claiming that he's just reading something one of his former patients wrote, like Wilson is going to believe that when House won't even read his current patient's blog. Wilson is truly concerned about why House is reading this book, wondering if he's that desperate for answers to his leg pain now that he doesn't have the Vicodin. "I'm all right. Trust me," House says. Wilson sighs and asks if House is all right because he's on Vicodin. House just repeats "trust me" and asks for his book back. When House finds out something embarrassing about Wilson, he lets the entire hospital staff know about it and then spends a great deal of time and energy creating movie posters to heighten the joke. When Wilson finds out something embarrassing about House, he gets all worried, tells his co-conspirator not to tell anyone else, and has to talk to him about it. He'll never learn.

The next day, House enters the meeting room to find all of the Cottages reading his own personal copy of Step By Step, with a small pile of extra books in the center of the table. Taub is the first to speak, saying that while these sermons aren't Jewwy enough for him, they've obviously helped House through his own "spiritual turmoil." House is clearly upset and embarrassed about this, but tries to play it off, telling Taub to read Chapter 6, which deals with shutting up. Foreman speaks up then, saying his personal favorite sermon was the one about the benefits of prayer before medical treatment. Ha! House doesn't even want his patients to speak to him before their treatments, let alone speak to God. "And I think it's great that you have been called to witness by the Lord!" he says. "Chapter 2: Bite Me," House recommends. He is clearly flustered if the best he can do is a grade school insult. House then turns to Chase, who hugs his own copy tightly to his chest. "Hiiiii," Chase says, so pleased with himself. He says he was able to find all of these new copies despite the book being out of print by making a call to the author, who had boxes of books in his basement. With that, Chase slides one of them onto the shelf next to medical texts with a big grin. "You called him? What'd you say?" House asks, looking nervous. He makes sure that Chase didn't mention House by name before the Cottages' pagers go off in unison.

House

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