House

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Sara M: B | 1507 USERS: B-
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Blogs and Logs

Meanwhile, Taub and Foreman check on Frankie, who is typing away on her laptop in the hospital room. A friend is sitting nearby, and Taub is surprised that he has a patient who actually gets visitors. Although it's not like anyone else from Frankie's life, like, say, her parents or siblings, will be stopping by. As it turns out, the friend is reading Frankie's latest blog entry on her own laptop even though she's sitting right next to Frankie's bed. Because internet people are weird and incapable of real relationships, y'all! I know when my friends come over, our time together is spent reading my recaps. Frankie's friend immediately recognizes Foreman based on what she's read about him on Frankie's blog, where she apparently implied that he was condescending. Foreman bristles at this, like he doesn't know that he sounds condescending all the time. Frankie gets up to go to the bathroom at this point, which is never a good sign for someone on this show. Either you're going to pee soundlessly, or blood will soon be pouring out of your ass. Frankie gets off easy, however, as she just ends up with a toilet full of "mud-colored" pee. That's bad news for Frankie's kidneys, and it rules out their rat poison toxicity diagnosis.

House spends five seconds trying to come up with a new diagnosis for Frankie until Wilson walks past the office. He runs out to announce to Wilson (and everyone else in the hallway) that he can't find any of his porn films. Wilson says he returned them to the store, which is what House deserves for leaving his porno all over the place. When pressed, Wilson admits that since there was a chance he might bring a woman home from the speed dating session last night, he wanted the place to be "a porn-free zone." And apparently, the idea of simply putting the porn away where they wouldn't be seen did not occur to him. Because I guess Wilson was never a 15-year-old boy. House says his porn-free morning was "ruined," like, who has time in the morning before work for a masturbation ritual? Don't men usually take care of that while they're in the shower, thus killing two birds with one stone? Three if you brush your teeth at the same time. House returns to the meeting room in time to agree with diagnosis of Haff disease. "Haff disease" is pronounced "Hoff" but spelled "Haff," thus ruining all of the awesome David Hasselhoff jokes I set up before I did a spellcheck. House sends the Cottages out to treat Frankie accordingly.

House

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