House
Que Será Será

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Vogler II: Electric Vog-a-loo

Meanwhile, the Cottages are trying to do their job/guess where House is. Cameron is the most concerned, of course, wondering whether House got in a motorcycle accident. "Ever seen how he drives?" she asks. "No, we haven't," Chase spits back, obviously super-jealous that Cameron has gotten to ride House's motorcycle and he hasn't, no matter how many times he subtlely says he'd love to ride a motorcycle within House's earshot. Foreman suspects that House took too many pills and is in a coma somewhere. Of course, that's when House chooses to enter, saying that if he is in a coma, "this is one lame hallucination." Well, he would know. He limps into his office and grabs a change of clothes and tells them to go to "Shamu's" apartment building and talk to his neighbors. I have to imagine that the people with the misfortune of living below "Shamu" are feeling pretty relieved right now, now that the threat of death from above is gone. With that, House ends the meeting since he has "run out of clever things to call the guy." He chuckles to himself, as do we all.

Foreman and Chase attempt to run tests on their fleshy patient, George, being sure to talk about how disgustingly obese he is. Chase thinks it's "ridiculous" that someone can eat himself "into oblivion" and then expect people to work their asses off to save him. I think it's ridiculous that two doctors aren't even bothering to wait until they're out of a patient's earshot to make disparaging comments about their patient. You don't know what he can or can't hear in his coma. Foreman says that they can't just refuse treatment to fat people, but Chase points out that they don't give dialysis to drug addicts or liver transplants to alcoholics. Larry Hagman laughs long and hard at this. "What is your problem?" Foreman asks, apparently having forgotten Chase's stance on fat people.

Fat Patient George's landlord lets Cameron into his apartment, a welcome change from the breaking and entering the Cottages usually have to do. George's apartment is amazing ly neat for a guy who should be too heavy to get out of bed. Cameron is amazed at how similar George's apartment is to House's. The landlady says that George keeps to himself mostly and runs a business from home. Cameron admires George's gourmet kitchen, and the landlady says that George "loves to cook. And eat, obviously." Well, obviously. He makes four-course gourmet meals for dinner every night and occasionally for lunch as well. You know, it's not four-course gourmet meals that make you six hundred pounds -- it's the multiple pizzas. Honestly, I really doubt you can find a morbidly obese person who doesn't have a steady diet of fast food and Doritos. Four course gourmet meals certainly won't keep you slim and trim, but I doubt they'll make you as big as George, either. That kind of fat takes a special kind of dedication.

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House

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