House
Que Será Será

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Vogler II: Electric Vog-a-loo

Foreman checks George out for patches of hyperpigmentation, a sign of hormonal problems. George insists that his hormones are fine -- every doctor he's ever gone to has checked him for that first, followed by his blood pressure, and then his blood sugar. I'll bet no one checked him for STDs, though, so that should be a nice surprise. Foreman notices that George's eyeballs move from side-to-side of their own accord, which George says is nystagmus, something he's had since birth. I assumed it would have something to do with his mystery disease until I found out that the actor actually does have nystagmus, which helped make him so scary in that episode of The X-Files when he hid under Scully's car and stabbed her in the foot with a needle. Chase would like me to point out that these days, he'd only be able to fit under a Monster Truck. Because he's fat. Not like George really wants to acknowledge this, saying that he's totally fine now that he's out of that mystery coma and would like to leave PPTH, as he knows all about how frequent fatal hospital errors are (except at PPTH, where the fatal stuff is usually done on purpose) and he would be safer not in one. Dude, you were just IN A COMA. People thought you were dead until you farted. Come on now. Foreman says many more deaths are caused by obesity than hospital error. George says that those numbers are a "gross overestimation." Not sure about the overestimation part, but it's certainly gross. George says that he'd rather die of a heart attack after eating a delicious gourmet meal than after finishing a marathon "for no reason other than to brag [he] could do it." Hey, George, some people like to run just like you like to eat. Also, I have a feeling that a lot more people die of obesity-related heart attacks than marathon-related ones. In any case, as it turns out, you can both enjoy running and eating, do them both in moderation, and not die of a heart attack at all! Shut up, George.

House plops down next to Wilson and wonders what fat person was in Cameron's life that made her so sympathetic to them. Why would she need to have a personal experience with someone to be sympathetic towards that condition? Cameron's sympathetic to EVERYONE, except, of course, cheating cyclists. Wilson doesn't really care and would much rather talk about House's legal troubles. House responds by stealing one of Wilson's cherry tomatoes and biting into it so that it squirts all over Wilson's white coat. "Very mature," Wilson says. I'll never figure out why those two are still friends, so I'll stop trying.

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House

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