House

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Everybody Apologize
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open at one of those fancy private jetports, where a trio of businesspeople are arguing because one of them didn't get some slides done for the Big Boss Executive, who is on his way to a meeting empty-handed. A woman in an evil red powersuit defends herself, saying she sent the other guy, who is clearly a schmuck, an email telling him to do the slides. She shows it to the executive and then the schmuck, named Russ, who has trouble seeing it on her Blackberry because he's having Ominous Vision Problems. "I never got this," he slurs. The executive asks if he's drunk. "I'm not drunk!" he says drunkenly, then barfs. "I'm not drunk!" he slurs one more time as he run/staggers away. Here's a tip: if you ever are drunk at work and someone calls you out on it, don't defend yourself while sounding and looking really, really drunk. Also, nice try at the Patient of the Week fake-out, writers, but I already saw in the previews that the patient is a woman and therefore not Russ, so I was not fooled. The woman volunteers to whip up some slides for her boss ASAP while also getting paper towels for the barf on his shoes, but screams and clutches her ears in pain before she can make it inside the airport. Where do those people work? Drama, Inc.?

The Cottages meet in Wilson's office (which we know immediately by the presence of the Ordinary People movie poster on the wall, because who doesn't want to display a poster for a movie about a family that falls apart in the wake of a son's death and the other's suicide attempt at work? Maybe Wilson is just a huge Mary Tyler Moore fan) to discuss their newest patient, Valerie, who's been to six doctors about her severe intermittent ear pain thus far with no luck. House finds her case boring, but the only other choice is a 14-year-old boy with joint pain and excess hair growth, and no one wants that. He takes Valerie's case once Foreman mentions that she's "really hot" with a husband who is "really not." And since he works as a social worker (apparently they put your spouse's job in your medical history now?), he isn't rich, either. Hadley says she might just be one of those people who can love someone based on something besides his appearance and personal wealth, such as his personality, but since her co-workers are both shallow and men, they refuse to believe this is possible. Chase suggests Valerie's recent diet change to raw foods might have something to do with her earaches, because that fact will be important later, but House thinks Valerie's real problem is her heart, and an arrhythmia is presenting as ear pain. He sends the Cottages off to deal with that as his phone rings with an uncharacteristic normal ring and not, say, a Salt-N-Pepa classic hit or the theme to Super Mario Brothers. That, and the fact that he avoids answering it, makes the Cottages suspicious. All we find out is that it's from someone called "Wibberly."

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