House
House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1485 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Folger's Crystals

Despite House's warnings, Chase goes ahead and gives Addie the steroids. Cameron does indeed stand over Addie with the defibrillator paddles charged and ready to go. Addie's parents are, of course, worried, but Addie ridiculously tells them to "relax." "I don't want you to be scared," she says. "Then get better," Mom says. Oh, well, now that you asked nicely, I'm sure Addie's autoimmune disorder/infection/whatever will be sure to obey. Mom tells her daughter that she and Dad love her, and Addie starts to cry and says she's sorry. And right here, I totally called it that whatever Addie had, she did it to herself. Just by the guilty way she said she was sorry. I usually never see this stuff coming, so I was very proud of myself and felt the need to brag. Chase finally gives Addie the steroids, and everyone waits for her heart to give out.

Among those waiting is House, who is seated in the hall just outside. Cuddy appears, and House tells her he's waiting for his patient to have a "massive" heart attack. He's a little too eager for it to happen. Cuddy doesn't really care that her doctors are going around giving patients massive heart attacks and watching it all happen with unabated glee, because she has personal crap to deal with. She asks House if he's spoken to Foreman yet. House responds by handing her some money and asking her to buy him some candy to enjoy while he watches "the best heart attack of all time." Unless he's watching that episode of 7th Heaven when Eric turned gray and had a heart attack in front of his family while heart beating sound effects played, that is a lie. Cuddy takes the money and goes to actually get House some candy, but then he calls her back as he sees Cameron make a move in the room. Cuddy comes running back, apparently just as eager to see a heart attack as the sociopath who works for her, but it's a false alarm. Cameron puts the paddles away while the parents swoop in, looking relieved as hell. House, however, is not so pleased. He was wrong. Cuddy gives him his money back and says she hopes he'll get to see a stupendous heart attack tomorrow. Knowing PPTH, he probably will.

Meanwhile, Wilson is trying to put a label on a medical file while clearly suffering the effects of speed coffee. Foreman comes in, and Wilson starts in with the lecture that Foreman might be pissed at House, but quitting isn't the right thing to do, and it's going to be a pain in the ass to get another job. Except that he says it all five times faster than normal while making up words. It's, like, the best performance I've ever seen out of Robert Sean Leonard. I think someone put speed in his actual coffee, because he seems awake for the first time on this show. Wilson gets a call and start rushing out of the office, saying he's late for a "breast thing." He tells Foreman that he knows House wants him and is a good doctor who can make Foreman good, too. Then he forgets what he's even talking about and runs away, leaving Foreman standing there wondering when Wilson got so cool.

House

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