House
Resignation

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Folger's Crystals

Chase tries to prepare Addie for the fun needle-eye-sticking test while her parents stand around and fret. Mom worriedly says that she just wants to know what's wrong with her daughter. She'll have to wait another forty minutes for that. Chase tells Addie that while the needle will "look scary" as it heads towards her eye, she won't feel it. Good for her, but I certainly felt a pain in my eye when we had to see the needle go inside hers.

House dumps the amphetamines into a mortar and pestle and smashes them into little bits before dumping the powder into one of two cups of coffee on his desk. I still don't know why they're trying to pretend that these paper cups that clearly came from the craft services truck are from a Starbucks-esque place that puts quotes on them. House stirs the coffee/speed mixture and puts the top on the cup just as Wilson enters the office. House quickly assumes the "I wasn't doing anything!" position with accompanying adorably innocent facial expression and tells Wilson he got him an espresso to pay him back for all the coffees Wilson has bought for him in the last couple weeks. He offers Wilson the non-speed-injected cup, but Wilson is too suspicious of House's sudden unprecedented generosity to take it. He comments that House buying him a coffee is something he only thought would happen as he watched the four horsemen of the apocalypse flying past the window. But House's espresso offer is too appealing for Wilson to turn down outright. He cleverly takes the cup that House wasn't offering -- the one filled with speed, for House is even more clever than Wilson. House shrugs and drinks the regular coffee while Wilson looks victorious at having outsmarted House.

Wilson takes a seat, and House asks him for his advice on hiring a nutritionist to replace Foreman. Wilson knows House well enough to know that House is just trying to score a date with said nutritionist, and House reports that he got her phone number while his finger was up her boyfriend's ass. Imagine if that boyfriend was Tritter when that happened. He was so mad about having a thermometer up there, I can't imagine what he would have done to House (and the viewing audience) if House had a finger up there while stealing his girl. It turns out that the phone number is written on the employment application Honey filled out for House, as being a fellow is like working at Blockbuster now. Wilson notes that Honey is twenty-six years old, and House gleefully adds that she has "the wisdom of a much younger woman." Goody!

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