House
Risky Business

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Monty Ashley: C+ | Grade It Now!
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All You Need Is Cash

An older, white-haired gentleman steps out on the front porch of his enormous mansion (it's got marble columns! And not just two or three, either) and flourishes a trash bag to begin the process of de-TP-ing his trees. At first I thought it was just a regular post-Halloween scene, but there are also signs calling him "Benedict Barton" and insisting that he save US jobs. And also he's been hung in effigy. So we are to conclude that he's very rich, but not very popular. A cheerful younger woman drives up in an expensive car, and I naturally assume this is his trophy wife. No, it's his daughter. Cliché: avoided! Anyway, she encourages him to call the cops about the vandalism. Or at least not move the company to China. He won't. He can't! He absolutely must move the company, no matter what it does to local jobs. Well, at least the local effigy-makers are getting work. She suggests some external investors, but he refuses to consider to sell off parts of the company. It's a family business, and it's his responsibility, darn it!

As he protests, he cuts off in the middle of a sentence and looks at his hand. A POV shot reveals that she looks like she's a million miles away. And so does his hand. Finally, he speaks: "I need you to drive me to a doctor." A sensible plan! He's handling this very well.

House has binoculars and is looking through them backwards so things look like they're far away. Park suggests "the JVE virus." House recommends she read the inoculation record so she won't suggest things that are already ruled out. She closes his laptop, then opens it so that he can read her an email from her ex-boss apologizing for hypothetical sexual harassment. What's happened is that he's taken some sexual harassment courses and issued a blanket apology that doesn't admit to anything specific. This is relevant because Park's disciplinary hearing for punching him is coming up. She insists that he grabbed her behind, although House characterizes it as a "celebratory slap." House: "You are so fired." Park is fired up and defiant and says, "A hundred bucks says I don't get fired." He takes the bet and promptly fires her. It begins to dawn on her that House doesn't play fair. She tries to modify the bet to whether she'll be fired after the hearing, and House chooses to interpret that as a further bet, in addition to the one she already lost, putting her "a C-note in the hole." Such colorful language! Do you think he picked that up in the joint?

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House

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