House
Role Model

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Know Your Role

A politician makes a speech about how the American Dream doesn't exist anymore because adults tell young people that it doesn't. That's all kinds of deep philosophical stuff there. If an American Dream falls in the forest, but no one is there to believe in it, do young people have hope? The guy exposits some of his personal experience growing up poor in the ghettos of Trenton and then becoming a U.S. Senator and presidential candidate against the odds, but starts to stumble over his words and sway around the podium. An aide jumps up and finishes the speech for him, and he tries to get off the stage. Unfortunately, his escape route is blocked by a stereotypical union lobbyist, who starts talking about how beneficial it would be for the Senator to support American labor. The Senator is too busy seeing double and hearing echo-y voices to care about any of that. Then he barfs all over the union guy and rolls down the stairs. With an exit like that, I can't imagine how awesome his entrance must have been.

Vogler, still dragging this show down, down, down into the C-grade range, orders House to take the Senator's case. House says that the Senator has simple food poisoning, and that House would rather spend his time "sitting on the toilet with the funny pages," apparently dealing with his own dose of bad sushi, than dealing with someone else's. I do hope House's busy work schedule doesn't force him to miss the latest Mary Worth, where all kinds of cool things are happening. Getting back to the whole stupid deal of House having to fire one of the Cottages who isn't Chase, Vogler says that if House could just prove he was a "team player," then he wouldn't have to "go through" the "exercise" of firing a member of his team. Because the best way to prove you're all about your team is to take away twenty-five percent of it (unless, of course, he fires Cameron, who is about three percent, maybe). Vogler tells House that there is another option: if he takes the Senator's case and gives a speech about a new heart drug at the upcoming National Cardiology Conference, he won't have to fire anyone. House points out that the drug is manufactured by Vogler's own pharmaceutical company, which kind of makes it less of a "team player" thing and more of a "how much can owning a hospital benefit me?" thing. And surely this is not legal, because otherwise, wouldn't every single drug company in this country with enough money have its CEOs doubling as chairmen of hospital boards? Vogler takes a smug sip of his smug coffee. House grabs the Senator's file and some information about Vogler's silly new drug. If I were him, I would have quit right there, but then we wouldn't have a show anymore, so there you go.

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