Role Model

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | Grade It Now!
Know Your Role

Out in the hall, House tells Chase he knows he's the one who's been telling Cuddy and Vogler about the Senator's treatment. Chase makes an indignant "who, me?" face, and then decides that it's not worth the effort and cops to it. House asks how he's supposed to work with someone he doesn't trust. Chase grins and says that House doesn't really have a choice.

Foreman does some more biopsies on the Senator, whose brain problems are starting to make him a little loopy.

House looks over Vogler's drug brochure and tells Wilson he's selling his soul by making this speech. Wilson says that House is getting something in return, and House points out that that is why he said "selling" and not "giving away." This new drug is the same as the old one, except that they've added an antacid and a few zeros in the price tag. Just like Cuddy before him, Wilson says that the drug does work, so it's not like House is selling anyone a bill of goods along with his soul. Plus, he's saving his staff, which is a good thing. Doing good things makes House grumpy.

Foreman comes back with the biopsy results, which don't say anything particularly remarkable except that the lymph node in the Senator's left arm has antibodies for CD11. House says that's a marker for hairy cell leukemia, named such because the cancer cells look hairy. I find hair that grows in places it shouldn't to be particularly disgusting, making hairy cell leukemia the undisputed winner of the coveted "Nastiest Disease of the Season" award. House orders a biopsy of the Senator's spleen, which has to be the only thing in that guy's body that hasn't yet had the pleasure of meeting a biopsy needle. The spleen is apparently the choice hang-out area for hairy cells, so the biopsy will easily confirm the diagnosis. Or not so easily, as both Cuddy and Chase point out how dangerous it is to do on someone in the Senator's condition. Foreman doesn't think they have a choice, what with the Senator's brain turning to "mush" and all, and House tells him to make it so. On her way out, House asks Cuddy if she's sick of babysitting him yet. She says she is, not like she'll be doing anything about it this episode.

Hey, remember Cameron? She's locked away in the lab, looking down the barrel of a microscope and not wearing her lab coat in a show of solidarity with her boss. Her mother always said that the way to a man's heart is through the systematic violation of OSHA regulations. House enters and asks Cameron why she "likes" him. Cameron says that's a sad question, and House says it's also a logical one. After all, he is pretty much the exact opposite of what one would expect Cameron's type to be. Instead of breaking out into "Opposites Attract," Cameron asks House what he wants to hear, and takes two steps forward. House takes two steps back and right on out the door without a word, let alone his version of MC Skat Kat.

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