Callie Rogers is a young lady who ran away because she was tired of taking care of her drug-addicted mother. But she ended up in a nice empty house and she's still going to high school. She's even captain of the volleyball team. So she's doing all right for herself, but that doesn't stop Dr. Adams from meddling and calling social services. The mother comes by and she and Callie have a lot of arguments. Then they appear to reconcile, but then Callie sneaks out. Oh, and she had some kind of parasitic worms, as opposed to an aneurysm or alcoholism.
Meanwhile, Foreman is still sneaking around with Anita, that married lady. House blackmails him a little, but then it turns out that Anita has already told her husband about her affair. Foreman is thrown by her desire to keep going out with him while still working on her marriage, and they eventually break up.
Also, Taub is bored by his daughters and House treats a pair of Civil War reenactors who refuse to break character. Neither story is compelling, but at least the reenactors have goofy accents.
The hospital. A girl is having trouble breathing, which her father says has been going on for a week. She assures House that it's "asthma or something." She had strep five months ago and remembers that she received amoxicillin for it. She asks for an inhaler, and House busts them on being unrelated homeless people. She starts to storm out, but House tells her she's bleeding from the ear. And she is! She says she hasn't been hit in the skull. House pulls out an ear thingy to check the ear canal. There's no fever. He tells her to pay the fake dad off, which she does with two cans of Budweiser. So much for him. The girl sounds freaked out, and House saying he has no idea what's wrong with her doesn't help.
The team meets House in a diner 30 miles away from the hospital, which he claims is just because he got his ankle bracelet off. Adams says that the patient is under eighteen, which requires a guardian's approval for any treatment. House rejects her request to call Social Services. Taub proposes various homeless-related diagnoses like malnutrition. Foreman walks into the diner with his married lady and House acts surprised. Foreman claims she's a pharmaceutical rep and that this is a perfectly normal business lunch. At a diner thirty miles from the hospital. Chase has a medical theory, but Taub shoots it down with a clean middle ear. Adams asks if she's been vaccinated and House says to proceed with the theory of pneumococcus.
Adams tries to bond with the runaway, who is uninterested: "Being homeless isn't a vacation for me. And I'm not acting out." Taub tries to tell her there are other options, but the runaway's not going for a group home or a foster parent. Adams noses through her bag and discovers a history book, because the runaway goes to school.
House goes to the clinic and meets two civil war reenactors dressed as Confederate soldiers. They refuse to break character, saying things like "We swore that we would see the elephant together." The general has diarrhea (or "the green apple squats," as he calls them), so House tosses him some pills. He offers to add mercury to make it more authentic for them.
Hospital café. Chase, Foreman, and Taub. Foreman talks about how great his new lady friend is. He's vaguely guilty about how he's dating a married woman, but Taub encourages Foreman to get in there. Then he talks about his own life and how he has to child-proof his house and try to find ways not to be bored with his daughters. He's getting rid of all of his magazines so he can focus all of his laser-like attention on them. Adams calls in to report that the school definitely vaccinated her. She and Park are in the vacant house where the runaway has been staying. There's plenty of food, water, and beer. Park says the girl is even head of the volleyball team. Adams spots some mold under the sink.