House
Safe

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Sex Kills, Again

Wilson comes home to House's apartment, where we see a motorcycle parked just outside the door, since they apparently don't have to follow the same rules about street parking that all the other motor vehicles do. Wilson finds a stethoscope on the doorknob, which is apparently the doctor's version of a "ROOMMATE KEEP OUT - I AM GETTING SOME" sign.

We cut to a montage of Melinda having a heart biopsy while a sexiled Wilson hangs out on the front steps until House finally comes outside and lets him in. Wilson enters and asks where the hooker he assumed House was using is. Dude, I don't think House was spending what appeared to be hours with a hooker. Indeed, House says that there was no hooker -- he was spending a delightful afternoon/evening/night with himself. Wilson is disgusted at this, although I don't see how a marathon masturbation session is any grosser than a hooker. At least you know where your hands have been, right? Then again, I'm sure a future episode will show us how masturbation actually can make you blind. Wilson is also angry that he was left on the front steps for hours, but House ignores his rant and asks if he knows of any condition that connects heart failure and anaphylactic shock. Wilson does not, because he's really not a very good doctor, and figures out that House wasn't jacking off that whole time, but using the enforced alone time to read up on heart problem. I don't see why he couldn't have done both. Some of those medical textbooks have HOT illustrations in them. One thing House definitely didn't do is the dishes, and Wilson is hopping mad about that. But he just passive-aggressively does the dishes himself, perhaps realizing that since House is giving him a place to stay, Wilson should be a good guest and do the freaking dishes.

The next morning, Foreman tells Melinda's parents that both the bloodwork and the biopsy came back clean, ruling out infection and transplant rejection and leaving them with no idea what caused Melinda's heart failure. So they're just going to hope it was "a one-time thing," which very reasonably doesn't make Melinda's mother feel all that much better. Melinda's father suddenly gets something to do when he notices that Melinda isn't in her bed.

Cuddy springs into action, getting on the Cuddycom and telling her nameless faceless sidekick to tell any and all local authorities to be on the lookout for a sick girl. She should be contacting all teachers as well, since school seems to be the place where Melinda most wants to be, but she doesn't, presumably because Cuddy will be investigating area schools herself once she suits up in her superhero uniform.

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House

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