House

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Mirth Day

House searches the fridge. There is Sunny D there, but he skips over it when he sees Wilson's carefully-labeled lunch. Before he can eat it, a woman walks in asking for him. She introduces herself as Doug's wife Franni, which surprises House since Doug's medical history said he was single. Instead of being really insulted, Franni figures that Doug didn't want her to worry about him, and didn't even tell her he was sick and in PPTH in the first place. He lied that he was in jail with some protestors instead. She eventually searched his email yesterday and found the referral to House and PPTH, so here she is. House notes that Franni certainly took her time getting to her husband's bedside, then takes a bite out of Wilson's lunch, only to be disgusted by the fact that it contains horrible kale. Franni's excuse is that she had to find a baby-sitter for their four-year-old son, because unlike some patients on this show who are perfectly happy to expose their children to sick parents, only to traumatize the kids for the rest of their lives because one of Daddy's symptoms is that he calls his daughter stupid, she figured it'd be best to see what she was dealing with before letting the son in to visit. House says he doesn't know if Doug will be okay, but he does know that Doug is both a liar and an idiot. Then he realizes that patient family members don't often wander into the doctors' lounge and asks how she knew he'd be in there. A little bird named Wilson told her.

House finds Cameron and Foreman still trying to do the LP. He says he's figured everything out, by which he means what Cameron is doing there, not what's wrong with Doug. His brilliant idea is that Cameron has been sent to House by Wilson to see how House is coping with Kumar's death. Cameron denies it, noting that Wilson has more opportunities to see and check up on House than she does and she wouldn't have cancelled her vacation just to play Grief Spy. Except that she totally would, but House buys it and wonders aloud about Wilson's new diet. At this point, Franni gets a bit annoyed at the fact that there are three doctors standing over her husband right now and none of them are actually treating him. House introduces Franni to the others, and only gets a chance to insult Doug's parenting abilities once before Foreman calls him over to look at Doug's neck, which has three bumps sticking out of it. Cameron thinks it's a muscle spasm from the drug she gave Doug to stop the hiccups, but House decides to find out for sure by pressing on Doug's neck. It makes crunching sounds that were a lot louder when we saw this scene in the previews.

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House

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