House

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Mirth Day

Hadley's trying to treat Doug while Franni yells at him to stop his tree-hugging activities that have obviously put him in the hospital. Foreman and Hadley lecture Doug that he should take some time off of protesting to recover from the autoimmune disease they still don't know that he has, and Doug says he won't quit. They didn't ask you to quit, Doug. They said take some time off. It's kind of hard to make a difference in the world when you're dead. Franni thinks Doug must hate his family, and he says he loves her and their son, but he loves everyone else on the planet, too, and his family shouldn't matter more than any of them. Franni, of course, doesn't really know what to say to that. Doug wheezes that the fact that his son is biologically connected to him isn't a "rational reason" why he should matter more. "He's our son!" Franni keeps saying, horrified and tearful that she even has to try to explain this to her husband. Doug says their son will need clean water and air, so his environmental activities are for their son as well as everyone else. Whatever. That's so insane that there's nothing I can really say about it.

That night, there's a knock at Wilson's door. He doesn't have to open it to know that only House would be knocking at his door at 10:30 p.m. to look through Wilson's kitchen in an effort to find out what's up with his new diet. House overthinks Wilson's invitation to search his kitchen and decides that Wilson is hiding something but thinks that by offering to let House look, House will think there's nothing in there to find and not search. Therefore, he will search. House thinks he's very clever, but Wilson says he just wants to go to bed, and House doing whatever he's here to do as quickly as possible will allow this to happen. House says he looked through Wilson's medical records and found no evidence that this diet is for medical reasons, and Wilson is actually surprised that House went that far. This leaves Kumar as the reason for Wilson's diet. Wilson doesn't see how eating healthy has anything to do with preventing suicide, especially since, if anything, eating healthy usually makes you more suicidal, not less. To this, Wilson opens his fridge to reveal non-healthy food stuffs such as ice cream, bacon, and potato chips. That's not enough to convince House, who notes that they're all uneaten. Wilson offers to let him look through his toilet if he wants evidence of food Wilson has eaten. I hope you're serious about that, Wilson, because he'd do it if he got desperate enough.

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House

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