House

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Mirth Day

With that, House gets a phone call from work. Foreman has decided to put it on speaker so that House can get an earful of Doug's screaming in agony over sudden leg pain. They attempt to do a diagnosis over the screaming of Doug and Franni, whose faith in this hospital has got to be at an all-time low. They come up with a bone infection that got exponentially worse thanks to those steroids they gave Doug before confirming that he even needed them. House tells them to give Doug antibiotics and do some X-rays, then calmly hangs up on the entire scene. He takes a seat on the couch next to Wilson and offers him a potato chip. Wilson turns it down, and House eats the chips in Wilson's face like a child, which Wilson seems to enjoy.

Doug's pain seems to have subsided enough for the screaming to stop, although he's not looking very happy while the X-rays are taken. Hadley complains that they're showing just as much nothing as they did when they took X-rays before Doug's pain. She decides to chat with Taub instead, who has to be less-than-thrilled about this. He didn't even like talking to Kumar when they did all their work together. Now that Kumar's gone, he must have been just a little happy that this meant no more conversations. But no, now there's Hadley. She asks Taub if he and his wife talk about stuff. I suppose they do, when Taub tells his wife the truth. Taub guesses that Hadley's asking for her own benefit, saying "I'm gonna go waaay out on a limb here: Foreman not a Chatty Cathy?" Hee hee. Chatty Cathy. Hee. Hadley says that's usually okay, but it wasn't last week. Taub says that's the breaks when you date men. Then he finds another break -- in Doug's femur, which is the hardest bone to break in the human body. And Doug broke it while lying down.

While House guzzles the Vidocins, the Cottages wonder how Doug's femur could have broken. Hadley guesses a brittle bone disease, but the symptoms don't match. House decides it must be cancer. Foreman thinks he means bone cancer, but that doesn't cause hiccups. House says it could be some other kind of cancer, then, and Hadley agrees, noting Doug's exposure to every carcinogen under the sun. Including the sun. Chase will do surgery to repair the broken leg while the Cottages prepare Doug for chemotherapy to treat cancer even though they don't know what kind of cancer he has or if it's even cancer at all. Foreman doesn't think this is a good idea, so he pouts.

Foreman walks in on the surgery to do a last-minute bone biopsy while the leg is all open and stuff. Hilariously, he walks into the OR with no gloves on or evidence that he even washed his hands and one of his possibly unsterile hands holding a surgical mask up to his mouth. Way to contaminate the entire room, Foreman. Chase asks if Cameron agreed with House's mystery cancer treatment decision, which gives Foreman the chance to say she isn't on the case anymore. We can only see Chase's eyes, but they pretty much say it all.

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House

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