Cameron goes over the latest PPTH deaths with her boss. None of them have viable hearts except for one woman who was in a bad car accident. She's still alive, but her prognosis isn't good. House is hoping that there's something wrong with her that will put her organs off the transplant list. He asks if she's fat. "She's...on the hefty side," Cameron says with adorable diplomacy. House is very pleased at this, saying that fat people's donor organs get rejected all the time. So not only are the Transplant Committee people ageist, but they're fattist as well? House figures that Henry would rather have a fat lady heart than no heart at all.
Our Woman on the Hefty Side is being tended to by the ER docs. Her husband, played by Greg Grunberg (Agent Weiss), observes the carnage from behind the all-glass walls of the trauma room. House -- who has put his white coat on for the occasion to look especially official and doctor-like -- pulls Agent Weiss aside to ask him some questions about his wife's general health. Agent Weiss says that she had a fever today, but went to work anyway because she "hasn't missed a day of teaching in years." This is much to the chagrin of her students, I'd say, who probably wouldn't mind having a substitute every once in a while. Agent Weiss is guilt-stricken at not insisting that his wife stay home, but House doesn't have the time or the desire to console him and just keeps asking if his wife had any other symptoms. At this point, a woman walks up and introduces herself as the "organ procurement coordinator for Southern New Jersey." Uh oh. "I just want to assure you that we will treat her organs with care and dignity," she says. And that's how poor Agent Weiss finds out that this wife is dead. Organ Procurement Coordinator looks horrified as she realizes that she is now living out her second worst job-related nightmare -- her first, of course, being the one where she's chased by giant human livers all the way down the shore.
Agent Weiss explodes in grief as Organ Procurement Coordinator tries to stammer out an apology, not like there's anything she can really say to make this better. So she tries to shift the blame, saying that when she saw House talking to Agent Weiss, she figured he was giving him the bad news, although she didn't bother to ascertain that fact before she started talking. "I didn't know," House coldly says, leaving out the fact that he totally suspected. "You should never make assumptions." Organ Procurement Coordinator looks like she needs a heart transplant of her own, since her real heart has dropped down into her stomach somewhere. Too bad she's too fat and black to be given one by the All-Powerful Evil Transplant Committee Overlords. Agent Weiss stops grieving for long enough to ask House why he was asking him about his wife. "I'm sorry for your loss," House says, totally insincerely, "but I need your wife's heart." And scenes like this are why a lot of people are hesitant to become organ donors. You want to save people's lives and all, but you don't particularly relish the thought of doctors and organ procurement coordinators circling over your still-living body like vultures as they hope you'll die so your organs can be given to people they deem more deserving, either. ["Eh, I have to say I don't get why that bothers people. You're dead -- it's not like this will be playing out in front of you." -- Wing Chun]