House
Sex Kills

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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This Show Is Written By Puritans

House has his Hail Mary pass sitting outside. Amy thanks Agent Weiss for giving her father his wife's heart. Poor Agent Weiss is now the victim of yet another wrong assumption. Cuddy and House come out in time to hear this, and Cuddy disgustedly accuses House of manipulation. It's not like she's doing anything to stop it, though. Agent Weiss tells House he is an ass, too, and turns to leave. Amy makes a sad face. House calls Agent Weiss back and says that, in two weeks' time, whatever happened to Laura's heart won't matter to House at all. But it will always matter to Gail. "Amy," Amy corrects him. "Whatever," House says, with the respect and dignity he gives to living things. He urges Agent Weiss not to take his anger at House out on someone else. Amy sticks her lower lip out and looks very sad indeed. Agent Weiss thinks for a second, and then decides to do what House asked and take his anger out on the person it's meant for. He accomplishes this by kneeing House in the crotch, a move that causes House incredible pain and also ensures that the man won't be having any offspring to inflict on future generations. We also learn that there is one way to stop House from making a snarky comebacks, as he reacts to the blow with a gasp of pain that only half of the population can feel, and falls to the floor. Cuddy is shocked, but also probably just a little bit jealous of Agent Weiss for getting to do something that she's wanted to do so many times before. Amy's sad face turns into a surprised face, and then into grateful face when Agent Weiss tells her that her dad can have his wife's heart. And I'm not advocating or supporting kneeing men in the balls -- by all accounts, it's a very painful and cruel thing to do to a guy -- but if anyone should get kneed in the balls, it's House for his behavior in the past ten minutes. Honestly, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

Henry hangs out and tries not to die. Braindead Laura's in the next bed over, which has to be a little disconcerting. Agent Weiss stops by to see her and probably boast about how he kneed that asshole doctor in the crotch for her.

House's limp is even more pronounced than usual as he enters the meeting room. Cameron, of course, notices and is immediately concerned. House brushes her off and tells the crew that before they can give Henry the heart, they need to figure out what was causing Laura's symptoms. Foreman doesn't see the point in this; he figures that the heart was turned down for a reason, and that putting it in Henry will just kill Henry, too. Not, House says, if they cure Laura first. Chase is dubious, although it's hard to make out what he says since he's got a coffee stirrer sticking out of his mouth. What is it with him and chewing on wooden things? Is he building a dam or something? Cameron is taking a while to catch on, and asks if House is trying to "cure death." This gives House the chance to let out his best mad-scientist laugh -- which is truly glorious -- and then bring her up to speed with his plan. They'll treat Laura's infection and make her heart nice and healthy for Henry. Foreman nay-says that Laura probably had the flu as well as hep C. Man, is he stuck on that hep C thing or what? You'd think they actually had a positive test result! Oh, wait. Anyway, Foreman is told not to speak again unless it's to be helpful. On Chase's suggestion that Laura has a gallbladder infection, she gets an MRI.

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House

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