House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C | 3854 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Carnival

If they can't bring Yvette to Meat, then they'll bring Meat to Yvette, as he's wheeled into her room so they can be together again. She's happy to see him still alive, and Taub is happy to finally be able to treat Yvette. I'm a little disappointed that this isn't quite as awesome as Taub's mind-reading computer idea last week.

First we get the Magic Schoolbus Cam, and now a Clinic patient? Is this Season One or something? House stares directly at a girl who's all done up in tacky pageant style. Her mom isn't worried about her kid's health so much as that health affecting her ability to compete in the upcoming pageant. She says her daughter is all out of it, and there's "something going on in her head." We don't want these pageant girls to have anything going on in their hairspray-coated heads, so House quickly tells Mom what the problem is: her daughter is drunk. House was somehow able to detect the smell of mouthwash underneath all the other smells from the chemicals her mother slathered on her in an effort to win an meaningless contest. "Gotta be perfect," the girl slurs. She swallowed the mouthwash instead of spitting it back out, a trick she learned from watching her mother, who now looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. Preferably her bathroom. Or the mouth care aisle of her local drugstore. Anyway, this is great news for mother and daughter, as she's now going to nail the talent portion of the pageant with her lampshade-on-the-head table dance.

House

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