Skin Deep

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | 6 USERS: A+
Skin Is Deep, Balls Are Deeper

Alex jumps off her bed and sobs that she is all woman. "Look at me!" she screams, and whips off her robe to flash the House and the entire lobby. It's been a great few days for those onlookers, who have gotten to see a guy accused of having sex with his daughter and a bitter man attack his friend with a cane. Now they get to see a naked model! "See, they're all looking at me! I'm beautiful!" she cries. "Put your clothes back on," says House. "I'm gonna cut your balls off." He isn't ogling her man body anymore. Dad also refuses to look at his daughter. Dude, they're just testes. She doesn't even have a she-nis, like some "top" female models have been rumored to sport. Of all the things you've done, THIS you're ashamed of? Go fall out that window and die.

House returns to Cuddy's office and tells her that "him-slash-her" can look forward to some time with the Psych department to try to get past the bad news. "Calling her 'him-slash-her' isn't really helping," Cuddy mutters, having been on the receiving end of that double-pronoun from House a few times herself. In happier news, House doesn't think Alex's dad will be sleeping with his new son again. "Now it's gross," he says. He gets serious and asks for another shot of morphine; his pain is back. Or is it? Cuddy informs House that she didn't give him morphine after all: she gave him saline. House got Placebo'd! After all that talk about how everyone had psychosomatic problems and attempts to trick them into admitting it, the only person whose physical problems were caused by his mind was House himself. Awesome. And needless to say, Cuddy rocks.

House spends his night playing the piano, probably to distract himself from his problems. He'll make his leg feel better with music! Okay, he won't. He plays a wrong note and stares at his bottle of Vicodin, which is conveniently located on top of the piano. He empties the bottle and stares at his mighty collection of pills as Ryan Adams comes back to bookend the show. House takes just one pill and rubs his leg resignedly. We get a week off to wonder how much of House's leg pain is real and how much is psychosomatic, and whether he really needs all those Vicodins.

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