Sleeping Dogs Lie

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
The Sandman Cometh

House explains that dogs have fleas, and some fleas in the southwest carry the plague. In very rare cases, House says, the plague can cause sleep disturbances. So not only did Hannah get the plague through an extremely unlikely set of circumstances, but she also got a really weird plague that's impossible to identify without losing a liver and being in incredible pain for eleven days first? Karma not only bit Hannah in the ass, it shoved a six-foot-long tube up it. The buboes that make the plague so readily identifiable didn't show up because of the steroid she took for the poison ivy and all that other stuff they were giving her once she got to the hospital. So once again, House's method of treating a patient before diagnosing her backfires. As soon as they stopped the immunosuppressants, the bacteria went flooding to Hannah's lymph nodes and the bubo appeared. Hannah will be fine after they pump her full of antibiotics and immunosuppressants. She'll even be able to keep her Liver of Lies. House sends the Cottages out to do all of this, as well as make sure that plague-carrying dog is tracked down and, presumably, the rest of the PPTH staff is informed that they may have come into contact with something that killed about a third of Europe once. Hannah finally speaks: "I've got the plague?" she asks, looking kind of pissed off. I know I'd be pissed off if I managed to get the freaking Black Death. "Don't worry," House says, "it's treatable. Being a bitch, though...nothing we can do about that." Hannah scowls, because she has been BURNED. Nice one, House.

Cameron finds Max sitting on a bench. Max says that her surgeon recommended walking as a way to heal faster. Never having given up a part of my liver (and now that I've seen that there are people out there who will lie to me just to get my vital organs, I probably never will), I'm not exactly an expert here, but wouldn't walking or even sitting up stretch the huge fresh surgery scar Max has and hurt horribly? Maybe she's hoping to win the "whose scar is bigger?" contest she's planning on having with Hannah when they're eighty years old, and is doing this to ensure a victory. Anyway, Cameron tells Max that what she did for Hannah was "pretty amazing," as if Max really cares what Cameron thinks of her. Max looks at Hannah in her room across the hall, and says that she knew this WHOLE TIME that Hannah was planning on leaving her. My jaw dropped, people. Cameron's does too, but she recovers herself and pretends that she had no idea about any of this. Hannah told a friend, who then "let it slip" to Max. Looks like Cameron has a twin out there somewhere! Cameron is about ready to nominate Max for sainthood for giving up a liver to someone who wasn't even in love with her...until Max says this: "She can't leave me now." OH! That sizzling sound you hear is Cameron...being BURNED! All this time we thought Hannah was the evil one in their relationship, and it was really Max, using her own organs to get what she wanted. Damn, that was great.

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