Sleeping Dogs Lie

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
The Sandman Cometh

Foreman and Chase meet up with House. Cameron is not there, because she is back with Hannah doing another test. Which means that Max is probably in the room too, since the surgery is starting in fifteen minutes. "They're both awake -- with Cameron," House says. Not for long, I'll bet. Girl puts me to sleep every time she opens her mouth to say something she's said thirty times in the episode already.

Hannah and Max are wheeled next to each other. Cameron suggests to a nurse that they give the couple a few minutes alone together before the surgery, all the better to get a confession with. Cameron's morally righteous plan seems to be working perfectly, as Hannah says she needs to tell Max something. "I know," Max says. "I love you, too." Ouch. Hannah says she has something else to say, actually. She starts, but then House runs in and pumps her full of sedatives, knocking her ass right out. Amazing. I love this show.

As Max and Hannah are wheeled off, House pulls Cameron aside to give her a moral lesson of his own: humans enjoy breathing. They will do a lot of bad things to keep doing it. Cameron points out that if House really believed that, he wouldn't have rushed in to knock Hannah out, since he'd be certain she wouldn't say anything. Instead, Cameron says, he's being selfish in wanting to keep Hannah alive to solve his own medical mystery. As opposed to Cameron, who is totally right to badger a woman who hasn't slept in eleven days into saying something that could kill her.

The transplant proceeds. Cameron watches it from the balcony. Cuddy joins her, and asks what the big secret is between Hannah and Max. "You read Foreman's article?" Cameron says out of nowhere. This gives us the opportunity to see Cuddy's awesome "what the fuck?" face. "He basically stole from me," Cameron pouts. You know what might be even more backstabby than stealing someone's article idea, Cameron? TATTLING TO HIS BOSS'S BOSS ABOUT IT. Oh my GOD, I didn't think I could hate Cameron any more in this episode than I already did. How did she not learn how to be a fucking adult and a professional and deal with life being unfair without telling the whole world about it? What a baby! It's almost worth it, though, for Cuddy's reaction: "So?" HA! She doesn't even care! "You're on his side?" Cameron asks. Cuddy laughs at her: "Sides? No. This isn't dodgeball." Cameron asks what she's supposed to do, then, if she can't complain about it. Cuddy's answer is simple: shut up, keep your head down, and work your ass off to be more accomplished than Foreman will ever be. And then, one day, Cuddy says, you'll be sitting behind your big, expensive desk, wearing either a low-cut blazer with no undershirt or something off the Mayflower, and someone from Johns Hopkins will call for a recommendation for Foreman, and then you can tell them all about Foreman's article-stealing. "Lovely. Revenge as motive for success," Cameron says. "Well, it doesn't have to be the motive. But it sure tastes good," Cuddy answers. What do revenge and gazpacho have in common? They're a dish best served cold. And they're usually made with tomatoes.

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