It's a beautiful day in the oddly desert-like hills of New Jersey. Perfect weather to carry your large wooden cross, as one man is clearly taking advantage of. He sets it down on the ground and his four followers get to work tying his feet and arms to it while he mumbles various religious things. Finally, it's time for the pièce de résistance and nails are driven through the man's palms, which he doesn't seem to mind very much as he smiles while the blood pours out of his hands. With that, the man and his cross are raised to overlook beautiful downtown ... uh ... New Jersey? I'm not familiar enough with the state to know which city's skyline we're looking at. It kind of looks like Los Angeles to me, really. The man, Ramon, enjoys the view for all of three seconds before he's barfing blood. Apparently, this is not supposed to happen, so his followers hurriedly move to take him down while trying to figure out just what the hell they're going to tell the ER.

House greets Cuddy in the PPTH lobby by accusing her of forcing him to masturbate because she's still refusing to see him until he apologizes and he's still refusing to apologize and I'm still refusing to give a shit about this story arc. House doesn't give a shit about the new case Cuddy wants him to take either, until she tells him the patient has puncture wounds in his hands from a crucifixion. That piques his interest. Ever the optimist, House is also able to find a silver lining in the dark cloud of his current relationship status: now he doesn't have to be Cuddy's date to PPTH's Chairman of the Board's wedding. Cuddy says she is not going to let him stand the Chairman up, like the Chairman doesn't know House well enough not to be relieved he isn't there. House says he will go with Cuddy as long as she doesn't mistake his attendance for an admission of guilt. Also, there's a chance she might get drunk enough to let him have sex with her. This somehow means he also has to attend the rehearsal dinner. Why is Cuddy even at the rehearsal dinner? Is she in the wedding party? Weird.

House arrives at Ramon's room with Martha and Chase in tow and informs the patient that he's crazy for crucifying himself. Ramon explains that his daughter, who happens to be sitting at his bedside, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given two months to live. Ramon says he made his "deal" then. "With your health insurance carrier?" House asks. "With God," Ramon says. Smart decision on Ramon's part, actually. God is probably much easier to reach and more reliable to get satisfactory results from than a health insurance company. And this is coming from someone who doesn't believe in God. Ramon told God he would nail himself to a cross every year his daughter stayed alive. Three weeks later, she was cancer-free, so now Ramon is stuck doing the annual crucifixion thing. His wife left him because of it, which House says only speaks to her sanity. Daughter asks House if he believes in God. House says he did until he "grew curly hairs." Chase gives House a look that says "how about you don't talk about your pubic hair in front of a young girl and her father?" Daughter counters that there's no other explanation for her being cured other than God intervening, but House says there are many possibilities and it's just human nature to have to have answers that makes people believe in God rather than not know what happened. Chase asks House to leave Ramon alone so they can do an LP.