House's cell rings. "House's House of Whining. State your complaint!" he answers. Foreman tells him that the mercury poisoning diagnosis was wrong and Kyle's heart is failing. House hangs up and tells Dan that it's time to talk about all of Kyle's relatives and how they died. They don't have time to trade questions, so House says Dan can just ask a really big one at the end. "Destroy my privacy; my dignity," he says, looking at Wilson. Oh, quit being such a drama queen, House. If you don't like the question Dan asks you, just lie or insist on Wilson leaving the room before answering. I'm pretty sure your secret will be safe with Dan.
After the commercials, Wilson is back on the phone with room service after the chef's attempt at a hoagie came out very wrong. Dan reports that his sister-in-law died in what he assumed was an alcohol-related traffic accident. His father died of old age. His wife's father died when hit by a car while walking "the incompetent dog." Wow, Dan hates his in-laws so much that he even hates their pets. Wilson finally gets on the phone with a place that will make the hoagie Dan wants and deliver it to their room when Wilson promises a hundred dollar tip. Dan cheers that the night is "finally going [his] way." Then he tries to catch a can of soda Wilson tosses to him and fails miserably. His reflexes aren't so great anymore. Looks like he won't be driving them home. Also, no one should try to open that soda for the next twenty minutes.
Shitter sneaks up on Foreman and when the hell does this guy's shift end? And why is he allowed in the hospital lab, a restricted area? Why why why? Foreman doesn't need to talk to Shitter in a private room; he says House is an ass, but it's not Shitter's call whether or not he needs the Vicodin. Shitter says that he's been a cop for twenty years and he knows when someone is telling him a "self-serving story." "If you had my job, you'd know," Shitter says; "everybody lies." Okay, Shitter and House are both equally dogged in their pursuit of what they think is right. WE GET IT. This storyline better lead somewhere really great that's worth all of this.
House has run out of relatives to quiz Dan on, so Dan gets to ask his big, personal question. And it is: why did House become a doctor? House is disappointed by this question, which isn't as humiliating as he thought it would be. Dan really wants to know why someone who hates people so much chose a job that would require him to work with them. The expression on Wilson's face suggests that he would like to know this as well. House gets all serious and answers that when he was fourteen, his father was stationed in Japan. House and a kid from school (notice he does not refer to him as a friend) went rock climbing. The kid fell and House had to bring him to the hospital. The kid came down with an infection in the hospital and none of the doctors knew what to do, so they called in their last resort: a guy who House thought was a janitor but who was really a doctor and a Buraku, a member of Japan's untouchable class. No one on the staff liked him because of this, which makes me wonder how the guy even passed medical school to become a doctor in the first place, so he didn't even try to be liked or fit in. But the hospital needed him and he was right, so none of that mattered. That explanation is way too complicated and involved for me. That's a lot of work and school just to turn into the American version of an untouchable Japanese janitor/doctor.