House
Son Of Coma Guy

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Suspended Disbelief

Have I ever said how much I love the guy who says "Viewer discretion is advised" before the show? He's awesome. His voice has this gravitas that makes every word seem so significant, like watching this show without discretion could kill you.

PPTH now has an entire room devoted to patients in comas/vegetative states. Considering the fact that someone goes into a coma almost every episode, I'd say this room was a wise investment. House likes it too, as it gives him a place to eat his lunch and watch television in silence, except for the occasional beeping of heart monitors, which I'm kind of surprised that House -- in his supreme selfishness -- hasn't turned off. He's watching an episode of Blind Date, and though we don't get to see much of the show, I'm guessing it features a mismatched couple going out and trying to eat food without choking on all the non-sexual tension while cute cartoon pop-ups tell the audience what fools they are. That's just a guess, though. Wilson enters and asks House why he's having lunch next to "Vegetative State Guy" instead of his usual lunchtime companion "Coma Guy." House says that Vegetative State Guy is better company. Wilson seems content that none of the patients in the room, nor anyone who happens to be passing by, can hear him as he yells at House about stealing his prescription pad and forging his name. House is only concerned about whether or not Wilson told on him. Wilson says that he lied to Tritter, and House says that they have nothing to worry about. Wilson thinks he does: he lied to the police, so now he'll be in trouble, too. And he's pretty sure that Tritter won't give up so easily.

The argument ends when a young man enters the room. He's Vegetative State Guy's son, and he's pleased to see a doctor paying attention to his father, even if he is paying more attention to his sandwich. House starts flicking the lights on and off, confusing both Wilson and the guy. Then House stands up, saying that the guy's about to see something "really cool," and disappears, only to reappear again in front of the guy's face. I started thinking that the show was going to tell us that if ketamine can make someone use his nonexistent thigh muscle, then Vicodin can give you invisibility powers, but this is actually just a symptom of the disease House thinks the guy has, based on observing him tripping over people when he left the other day but having no problem opening the door. This is called akinatopsia, although I'm not sure if it's spelled that way. I know it better as "the thing that saved everyone's life from the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jurassic Park." That T-Rex couldn't see people unless they were moving. He was so weak. Anyway, House figures the guy's condition is an intermittent one, because if it weren't, the guy would have been hit by a bus by now. It's usually accompanied by seizures, so House was hoping to induce one with the flashing lights. He seems to have failed at this, though -- oh, wait a minute! The guy falls to the floor and has himself a grand mal. House just stands there and watches the poor guy slam his head into the ground while Wilson kneels down and tries to do something about it. I'm just glad that it would seem that the only reason why House was eating with Vegetative State Guy was to figure out what was wrong with his son, and not because he left Coma Guy for good.

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House

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