House
Son Of Coma Guy

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Suspended Disbelief

We return from the commercial to see Cameron waving a finger in the guy's face. The guy, named Kyle, says that he can see fine now, but Cameron will always wave her finger in his face. Kyle says that he's had seizures before, although none this bad. Doctors haven't been able to figure out what's wrong with him and apparently gave up. Cameron asks if he has a family history of epilepsy. Just "hutzpah" and "the ability to sleep for ten years," Kyle answers. "Hutzpah"? Who is this guy, Lou Grant? My grandmother? Who says that? Anyway, Kyle continues that he doesn't know much about his mother's side of the family, due to her being dead and his father not liking them very much and being in a vegetative state besides. As for his father's side of the family, his grandparents are dead and his father was an only child. Cameron notices that Kyle left the "emergency contact" section of his admission papers blank. He says that he has "plenty of friends," but none of them would care if he was having a medical emergency. Which I believe makes them "passing acquaintances" and not friends. Really, one of the definitions of a friend is someone who cares if you're in the hospital. Cameron tries to resist the urge to marry her lonely patient. Kyle asks Chase to give him his backpack. Chase picks it up and hears the telltale clanking of glass bottles. He opens it up to find a half-empty bottle of wine. "Hair of the dog," Kyle says sheepishly. Some alcoholic he is! It's called "vodka," Kyle. Cameron and Chase just stare at him with "oh, wonderful plan, Junior" looks on their faces.

Back at the meeting room, Chase thinks that they're looking at an alcoholic-related condition. But House is certain it's an inherited condition, based on the fact that both father and son have similar cortical seizures. Vegetative State Guy's vegetative state has nothing to do with an inherited disease, though, and everything to do with running back into his burning house to try to save his wife and collapsing from smoke inhalation, which cut off oxygen to his brain. House orders a DNA test and a B and E.

Chase returns to the lab, where Foreman and Cameron are either working hard or hardly working, and reports that Kyle's apartment had a single bed, which is weird since he seems to be having sex based on the condoms Chase found. Maybe Kyle just really liked the twin bed sex he had in college and decided to continue the tradition. Other than that, Chase didn't find anything important. House comes in and the Cottages report that their tests were all negative. House orders another DNA test for another condition, and Chase whines that DNA tests take forever. House says that's not a problem for him, since he'll be leaving early. The Cottages, we are left to assume, will be leaving late or not at all. The lab personnel will never be leaving since they never arrived at PPTH in the first place.

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House

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