House
Son Of Coma Guy

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Suspended Disbelief

Foreman and Cameron ask Kyle if he's had any contact with someone who seemed sick. Kyle says that he works from home and none of those friends he claimed to have has visited him. "There's gotta be someone you're close to," Cameron says, growing more and more attracted to Kyle with each passing second. Kyle says that he's probably closest to his dad, who can't "stop" him. I'm assuming he means stop him from drinking all that wine. Dude, just move to France. You'll fit right in. Suddenly, Kyle feels sick. Cameron can't resist him any longer and rips his shirt open, only to find a big bruise over where his liver's supposed to be. "I think his liver's failing," she announces, scaring the shit out of Kyle. Then he starts coughing blood.

Back in the meeting room, Cameron reports that Kyle is unconscious and slipping into a coma. House orders them to stop their treatment, which is obviously not making Kyle better and could be hurting his liver along with Kyle's love of alcohol. Foreman walks in and reports that he just started Kyle on dialysis, so now his kidneys are failing, too. "Not too many people come back from that," Chase says with a glance at Cameron. How has she not sprinted off to book the minister and the chapel yet? Wedding invitations take time to print out, Cameron -- time you don't have! Get on it, sister! House still insists that they're looking at a genetic condition. "We need a better history," he says.

You'd think House would try to stay away from pharmacies during this whole investigation into his drug use, but no. He's raiding the hospital pharmacy for Levodopa, which he will use to wake up Vegetative State Guy. House says VSG is no "Terri Schiavo" -- his brain is intact and his muscles are barely atrophied. Some would argue that Terri Schiavo's brain was intact as well, but when I looked her up on Wikipedia, I found that someone had written that Terri Schiavo was "now served in V8 Juice," therefore causing me to doubt the veracity of the rest of the article.

The Cottages follow House to VSG's bedside as he prepares a syringe of Levodopa. They protest that the amount of amphetamines he'd have to shoot VSG up with could kill him. House says that he saw the movie Awakenings, based on a true story of a doctor who woke up a bunch of comatose patients using Levodopa. House is no Robin Williams, but he's pretty sure he can do the same thing. Why isn't everyone going around shooting people in vegetative states up with this stuff, then? It's a miracle!

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House

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