Wilson gives Jeff a bone marrow biopsy and tells his worried manager that they now believe Jeff either has cancer, or that his problems were caused by someone screwing up a medical procedure. Better go call your bank and have that check you wrote to Cuddy cancelled, Manager, although something tells me Cuddy went directly to the bank with it right after she told the Cottages they had to stay late to do a lumbar puncture. Jeff wants to speak, but he still has the tube down his throat, so he has to write it down. "Did I do this to myself?" he asks in an odd choice of cursive handwriting. Wilson says that if Jeff does have cancer, then it may indeed have been caused by his cheating.
Wilson hands Cameron a message that a morgue attendant asked him to give her. I figured that Cameron had finally just given in to her urges and decided to start making dates with the freshly dead instead of the almost-dead, and asked the morgue to let her know when a nice specimen came in. But actually, the call is from the Times. Cameron lamely tries to lie that she has no idea why they're calling her. Wilson says that they're actually returning Cameron's call, using the number she gave them so that their interaction wouldn't be traced back to her office. Cameron apparently doesn't care if the morgue attendants get blamed for her crimes. "Are you a doctor or the bicycle police?" Wilson asks. Well, she's certainly not a doctor. Cameron says that she doesn't want Jeff to get away with cheating. She hasn't told the press anything yet, and Wilson, for some reason, says he won't turn her in. Wilson says that Jeff just made a "mistake," although it seemed to me that Jeff's cheating was very much intentional. Wilson adds that no one's being hurt by Jeff's lies, as long as no one finds out the real truth: "If love's based on lies, does that mean it's not a real feeling? Doesn't bring the same pleasure?" Cameron wants to know when they stopped talking about Jeff and started talking about Wilson's personal life. Wilson says that if Cameron hurts Jeff by revealing his secret, she'll be hurting all the people who love him, too. He knows this because he always tells his wives when he screws around. Because Wilson is kind of a wimp. And a jerk.