House attempts to explain to the stupid people that past steroid use could be what's causing Hank's kidney damage now. Lola does not appreciate the repeated accusations of steroid use, and neither does Hank. House points out that Hank has lied about drug use before, like when he was a cokehead and had to go play baseball in Tokyo, and that his choice now is either to admit to using steroids, or to die. So Hank reluctantly admits that, five years ago, his pitching coach gave him something. He didn't know what it was, but he took it anyway and then gained twelve pounds of muscle in a month. Lola's pissed, although I don't know why, since this all happened before she even met Hank, which was just a few months ago, right? The timeline of their relationship is strange and inconsistent. Sarge chooses this moment to enter with a handful of balloons. He asks how everyone's doing. House says he's doing quite well now.
Cuddy, on the other hand, is not, because she is now supposed to put Hank on the kidney transplant list when they don't even have a definite diagnosis that he needs a kidney. You see, the test for Addison's was inconclusive. House says that test is always inconclusive. Cuddy wonders why this hospital does any tests at all. Seriously. It's not like they're just going through the motions to keep the lab techs employed, since they don't have any. Anyway, Cuddy won't put Hank on the list. House says that Cuddy takes a "perverse pleasure" in saying no to him, and Cuddy says it's what she lives for, which is good since it's just about the only thing she does on this show.
Meanwhile, Hank gets worse.
House enters his office to find Lola sitting in his chair. He tells her that Hank is not on the list, and that she needs to leave his chair. Lola gets up and volunteers one of her kidneys. House says that's a very noble, if empty, gesture, since the chances of someone not related to Hank being a match are pretty slim. Hey, tell that to George Lopez. "Do you live alone?" Lola asks. You see, she's made the astute observation that House hates people, but she doesn't understand why he can't see that there are people in the world who love and need each other, even if House himself isn't one of them. House says this is all irrelevant. True love does not a kidney donor match make.