Sports Medicine

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
Water Sports

"I scored," House says. The reason for all those mysterious phone calls is now revealed, as House hands Wilson a manila envelope that contains two all-access passes to "paradise itself" -- the biggest "official" Monster Truck Jam in the history of New Jersey, and it's this FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY!!! I wonder what the biggest "unofficial" Monster Truck Jam was like. Anyway, Wilson can't go. House orders him to cancel whatever he has planned, because those tickets are so good that they have to sign a release form to use them. Also, they cost House a thousand dollars. Wilson is a speaker at the Oncology seminar. They booked him a year ago and there's no way he can back out. House says he'll just invite one of his other friends, then. Wilson doubts this. House says he'll invite Kevin from Bookkeeping. Wilson points out that Kevin's name is actually Carl. House says "Kevin" is Carl's "secret friendship club name." My secret friendship club name is "I'm Awesome."

Foreman and Chase joke that House needs money for lots of hookers. Cameron does not find this funny. Foreman asks if Cameron doesn't think House has sex. Chase says that House doesn't have sex -- he makes love. Cameron fantasizes until the lab calls with the results of Lola's kidney donor matching test.

House meets Lola in a hallway somewhere. She says that Hank should be present for this as well, and House says that he would much rather be with Hank than with Lola, but that he has some results that he thinks should be discussed with Lola first, and alone. She is a kidney match for Hank. She's also pregnant. Lola is overjoyed at the double dose of good news until House tells her that her pregnancy means she can't donate her kidney. Lola leaves to talk to Hank.

Foreman tells Hank that he's good to go for the kidney transplant. Hank says he won't do it because it will mean his baby dies. Foreman says that Lola is making the abortion appointment as they speak, so husband and wife may want to have another talk about this. Hank says that he and Lola have been trying to get pregnant since they met, which would be, what, six months ago? Anyway, he doesn't care if he dies as long as he knows he has done his part for biology by procreating.

Cameron asks House what he would do if faced with an ethical dilemma like Hank and Lola's. House doesn't really want to answer, but says that if the baby-killing transplant allowed someone he loved to live for a long time, he'd do it, but if it was only, like, six months, he'd let her die. His tipping point is seven years, eight months, and fourteen days. Sucks for the loved one if the lifespan expectancy is seven years, eight months, and thirteen days, doesn't it? Not like it matters all that much, seeing as House isn't likely to have to make any decisions for people he loves any time soon. Cameron says she wouldn't abort the fetus no matter what. On that note, House asks her if she likes Monster Trucks. "I don't know what they are," Cameron says. Did she not have a childhood? That would explain a lot. I've never been to a Monster Truck Rally either, but I do know what they are, having had my foot run over by their R/C counterparts many a time in my youth. House invites her to the rally. "Like" Cameron asks, ever so hopeful. "Exactly. Except for the date part," House says. Ha ha! Then he tells her just to forget it, and limps into his office. Though separated by a rather thick-looking wall, Cameron tells House that she was supposed to go to the Oncology seminar on Friday, but just found out that Wilson cancelled his talk two weeks ago, so she's now free. Cameron asks House what appropriate Monster Truck Rally attire is. Probably not a bustier-vest, although I doubt that will stop her.

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