House

Episode Report Card
Sara M: C- | 1735 USERS: B-
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The Straw That Broke The Cameron's Back

Chase and Cameron take the elevator all suited up in their lab coats. Chase thanks Cameron for tagging along for what should be their last task at PPTH, while Cameron has problems with House's diagnosis, the brain angiogram he wants them to do to test for it (which could set off a spasm in the guy's brain) and the steroids he wants to use to treat Hank for it (which could spread infection all over his body if the diagnosis is wrong). Chase thinks that sounds like House to him, but Cameron says Hank's problems could just be a Vitamin D deficiency, and perhaps they should treat him for that first. Chase agrees to shine some ultraviolet light on Hank and give him vitamins.

Hank gets to hang out in PPTH's on-site vertical tanning booth with Chase, Cameron, and his porn star wife, who has finally arrived to be by his side. By the way, are there really a lot of porn stars and big-budget pornos being shot in New Jersey? Because I kind of thought they were all in LA. Anyway, Chase is full of questions for the supposedly happy couple, asking if they work together (they used to, but not anymore), or if they watch each other's work (no). Hank senses judgment from the married doctors and says they're proud of what they do, so he doesn't care what people think. Cameron thinks she can be the exception to the rule, and so offers up her opinion on her patient's choice of career. And guess what? It's a negative one. She doesn't like the idea of sex without an emotional connection. The wife says sex is "mechanical," and so doesn't necessary need an emotional component. Did a man write this episode? I'll bet a man wrote this episode. "Certainly not in your world," Cameron sniffs at them with a disgusted look on her face as she runs away from them before she can catch something. Hank speaks up and says their work "helps" couples. Oh, come on now, Hank. You aren't making a sensual how-to video here. It's hardcore pornography. And it's okay. Not everyone's work has to be noble, and not everyone with a noble profession is a good person. Like these asshole doctors who are judging you right now. Actually, Chase isn't judging them so much as he's using their situation to talk about his own: "you think you can escape the consequences, but you can't. You don't get to make your own rules and morals." At this point, Hank's wife is like "shut up and do your job." Hank would have told them the same, but he's too busy with his sudden nosebleed that his doctors didn't notice because they were probably getting their own nosebleeds from lifting their noses so high up in the air in disapproval. "It's just a nosebleed," Chase says. Uh, no, it's not. It's never "just a nosebleed" on this show. Sure enough, Cameron notices he's bleeding inside his leg, too. That rules out Vitamin D and vasculitis.

House

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