House

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The Straw That Broke The Cameron's Back

Hank gets to hang out in PPTH's on-site vertical tanning booth with Chase, Cameron, and his porn star wife, who has finally arrived to be by his side. By the way, are there really a lot of porn stars and big-budget pornos being shot in New Jersey? Because I kind of thought they were all in LA. Anyway, Chase is full of questions for the supposedly happy couple, asking if they work together (they used to, but not anymore), or if they watch each other's work (no). Hank senses judgment from the married doctors and says they're proud of what they do, so he doesn't care what people think. Cameron thinks she can be the exception to the rule, and so offers up her opinion on her patient's choice of career. And guess what? It's a negative one. She doesn't like the idea of sex without an emotional connection. The wife says sex is "mechanical," and so doesn't necessary need an emotional component. Did a man write this episode? I'll bet a man wrote this episode. "Certainly not in your world," Cameron sniffs at them with a disgusted look on her face as she runs away from them before she can catch something. Hank speaks up and says their work "helps" couples. Oh, come on now, Hank. You aren't making a sensual how-to video here. It's hardcore pornography. And it's okay. Not everyone's work has to be noble, and not everyone with a noble profession is a good person. Like these asshole doctors who are judging you right now. Actually, Chase isn't judging them so much as he's using their situation to talk about his own: "you think you can escape the consequences, but you can't. You don't get to make your own rules and morals." At this point, Hank's wife is like "shut up and do your job." Hank would have told them the same, but he's too busy with his sudden nosebleed that his doctors didn't notice because they were probably getting their own nosebleeds from lifting their noses so high up in the air in disapproval. "It's just a nosebleed," Chase says. Uh, no, it's not. It's never "just a nosebleed" on this show. Sure enough, Cameron notices he's bleeding inside his leg, too. That rules out Vitamin D and vasculitis.

House is not surprised when Chase and Cameron enter the meeting room with Foreman. They tell him that Hank is now having blood clotting issues. House is a bit distracted, however, by what he's watching on his laptop. The telltale music lets Cameron know it's one of Hank's movies. "He's not without talent," House says. While Cameron goes off and thinks about how much better than that she is, Foreman says the UV rays they exposed Hank to made his capillaries fragile and thus caused his bleeding problems. Nice job, Chase and Cameron! Once Cameron gets over herself, she comes up with a diagnosis for Hank: meningococcemia. I am shocked to tell you that my spellcheck knew that word. House sends Foreman and Chase off to treat Hank for that, but has Cameron stay behind so he can confirm his suspicions that Chase told Cameron about the murder thing. He'd better hope he's right, or else she just found out in a rather nasty way. He asks if that means Chase is allowed to break other Commandments, too. Cameron says she forgave Chase, but House won't believe it, saying that no matter how bad of a person Dibala was, Cameron has a stick up her ass when it comes to doing the right thing. Um, except when she herself also wanted Dibala to die and also HAS KILLED A PATIENT HERSELF. Why is no one bringing this up? I don't get it. Cameron accuses House of trying to ruin her marriage. House says it's already ruined -- as soon as Cameron gets over the shock of what Chase did, she'll get on her high horse and ride it to the nearest divorce court. Which is fine with House, because by his convoluted logic, the only reason why Cameron quit being a Cottage in the first place was because he fired Chase, so when she's not with Chase she'll have no reason not to come back. Has he not considered the fact that working for him really sucks?

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House

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