House

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The Straw That Broke The Cameron's Back
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We open on a porn set, which much to my surprise actually has a dressing room area for its male star, Hank Hardwick, who is checking out his eye in the mirror while some other guy (I think it's the director) complains about the quality of the on-set catering. The bagels are too hard, he says. Something being "too hard" is not a complaint you probably hear often on a porn set, I'd guess. Also, pornos have on-set catering? As they make their way through the hallway of the mansion set, which is bustling with crew members (again, this has to be the most high-end porno shoot ever), the director complains about all the budget cuts that are compromising the artistic vision that he apparently has because he is in the wrong field. Hank isn't worried, saying they should look on the bright side: they get paid to do something they enjoy and "touch people's lives." Well, maybe you get to do something you like, Hank. The director guy just gets to watch. [Hey, some people like to watch. - Zach] As they walk onto a set full of scantily-clad women, it turns out that Hank looked a little bit too much at the bright side. For when the director calls action and a ridiculously expensive piece of lighting equipment shines in his face, he sinks to the ground, complaining that his eyes feel like they're exploding.

Over at the Cameron-Chase residence, we join the couple in the middle of one of those tough-but-necessary conversations one often has to have in a marriage when one spouse has murdered a genocidal dictator in order to prevent the murder of millions more and tried to keep it a secret from the other spouse. Married life is hard! Cameron tells Chase that she can "live with" what he did. He's very relieved, and sighs that she has "no idea" what he's been dealing with. Doesn't she, though? Didn't she kill a patient of her very own three years ago? Didn't she talk about wanting to kill Dibala? Is she really that innocent? But all Cameron says is that they need to get away from PPTH and the bad memories. "Turn the page," she Bob Segers.

At PPTH, Foreman and House are fighting over their next patient. Foreman wants to take the case of a dying three-month-old baby, while House wants the porn star. Since the porn star appeared in the pre-credits sequence and the baby did not, I think it's pretty safe to say that Hank will win this one. Sorry, three-month-old! I guess you're dead. It's your own fault for not having a more interesting career. Foreman attempts to assert his authority over House, only for Cuddy to enter at exactly the wrong time and seal the baby's fate by handing House his reinstated medical license.

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House

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