House gets his medical license back just in time to take the case of Hank Hardwick, a male porn star with photophobia. That case also comes just in time to keep Chase and Cameron at PPTH when they attempt to quit and leave town forever to get away from that whole murder thing. Foreman guilts them into staying on for the case while House looks to see which three of the four Cottages (Chase, Cameron, Taub and Hadley -- yes, that's right. She's back and she's making scrapbooks!) he'll be putting back on his team, even though all four of them claim they don't want the job. House seeks out their differential diagnoses anyway as Hank's condition declines. Chase and Foreman find worms in his liver, but when they give him medicine to kill them, he only gets worse. Hadley and Taub put their heads together and figure out that Hank's too-sterile upbringing caused his immune system to get bored and him to develop an autoimmune disorder: extra intestinal Crohn's disease. The worms were actually helping to keep his immune system from attacking himself, so when they killed the worms, they made him worse. They give him some medicine and more worms, and I guess he'll be fine despite all that stuff they said about his organs being about to fail. Because who cares about the patient when there's drama this week! House is bent out of shape about Lucas and Cuddy dating and takes out his fear of rejection on the Cottages, trying to twist their arms into coming back on the team. In the end, three of them just can't resist the allure of diagnostic medicine. One of them decides that she can't deal with House's disregard of human life and how that ultimately somehow caused her husband to murder someone who was on the verge of killing millions (and who she herself claimed to want to kill until she was actually given the opportunity), so she leaves House, Chase, PPTH and the show. And as much as I've hated on Cameron in the past, she deserved much better than that.
We open on a porn set, which much to my surprise actually has a dressing room area for its male star, Hank Hardwick, who is checking out his eye in the mirror while some other guy (I think it's the director) complains about the quality of the on-set catering. The bagels are too hard, he says. Something being "too hard" is not a complaint you probably hear often on a porn set, I'd guess. Also, pornos have on-set catering? As they make their way through the hallway of the mansion set, which is bustling with crew members (again, this has to be the most high-end porno shoot ever), the director complains about all the budget cuts that are compromising the artistic vision that he apparently has because he is in the wrong field. Hank isn't worried, saying they should look on the bright side: they get paid to do something they enjoy and "touch people's lives." Well, maybe you get to do something you like, Hank. The director guy just gets to watch. [Hey, some people like to watch. - Zach] As they walk onto a set full of scantily-clad women, it turns out that Hank looked a little bit too much at the bright side. For when the director calls action and a ridiculously expensive piece of lighting equipment shines in his face, he sinks to the ground, complaining that his eyes feel like they're exploding.
Over at the Cameron-Chase residence, we join the couple in the middle of one of those tough-but-necessary conversations one often has to have in a marriage when one spouse has murdered a genocidal dictator in order to prevent the murder of millions more and tried to keep it a secret from the other spouse. Married life is hard! Cameron tells Chase that she can "live with" what he did. He's very relieved, and sighs that she has "no idea" what he's been dealing with. Doesn't she, though? Didn't she kill a patient of her very own three years ago? Didn't she talk about wanting to kill Dibala? Is she really that innocent? But all Cameron says is that they need to get away from PPTH and the bad memories. "Turn the page," she Bob Segers.
At PPTH, Foreman and House are fighting over their next patient. Foreman wants to take the case of a dying three-month-old baby, while House wants the porn star. Since the porn star appeared in the pre-credits sequence and the baby did not, I think it's pretty safe to say that Hank will win this one. Sorry, three-month-old! I guess you're dead. It's your own fault for not having a more interesting career. Foreman attempts to assert his authority over House, only for Cuddy to enter at exactly the wrong time and seal the baby's fate by handing House his reinstated medical license.