Wilson stops by House's office to bask in the glow of being right about House having a fun night out with Chase and Foreman. Apparently, they reported back to Wilson that not only did House have fun with them, but they also had fun with him. "What happened?" Wilson asks, befuddled. "I realized that they could be my friends," House says; "and then I sobered up." Wilson doesn't believe it, saying that House couldn't have been that drunk since he fell asleep in his own bed this time. Yes, but it only takes one martini to pass out at your boyfriend's sister's birthday. By the way, how is it a good idea for House to become friends with his subordinates? Wilson isn't doing anyone any favors here. House suddenly gets his Epiphany Face and takes off, just as Wilson is getting into some seriously annoying and unwatchable psychoanalysis. Win-win!
House heads into Ted's room with a big neck collar. Taub follows him, and House asks Ted to "give me your head." Ted's confused, so House says that's the first time he's heard that sentence used with a possessive pronoun, as if gay guys don't use possessive pronouns when referring to parts of their partner's anatomy. I mean, I can't say I know for a fact whether they do or not, but still. House grabs Ted's larger head by the base and lifts it up from his neck. Ted's headache suddenly goes away. House releases his head, and the headache returns. House has fun making Ted's headache go away and come back a few more times before saying Ted has a Chiari malformation, a.k.a. a narrowing at the base of his skull. It caused all of his symptoms and cut off the flow of spinal fluid into his brain, but only after those ECT treatments at Camp Gay Away caused his brain to swell. Just slightly, but with the malformation, it was enough. His brain also pressed up against his pituitary gland, which caused the lactation. Taub fits Ted with a collar to keep his head lifted and relieve his symptoms until they can give him surgery to correct it. Oh, and it turns out that one of Ted's symptoms was not caused by the malformation -- the ED, which House guesses has more to do with Ted being gay. House non-apologizes for making Ted's symptoms worse with the POTS treatment, which once again shows us why House shouldn't treat people before knowing what's wrong with them. That still doesn't explain why Ted's symptoms only started now when he had to have gone to that Gay Away place a long time ago, because it was only after he got out that he started dating Nicole, right? And they must have been together for a long time to be getting married. Except that Ted didn't move out of Cotter's house until three months ago, at which point he moved in with Nicole. So ... did he get out of Camp Gay-Away, dump Cotter, move out, meet Nicole, propose, and get an apartment with her all in one day? Weird. Ted just asks how he got the malformation. "It's congenital. Like so many other things, you were born that way," House says.