Cut to Wilson's apartment, where he must stop his sex session with Sam to answer a knock at the front door. It's House and two police officers. "I met the neighbors," House explains. "Sir, do you know this man?" an officer asks. Wilson tries to decide whether or not he should say yes.
House arrives at work wearing Hangover Sunglasses. Cuddy whines about how she has to find a replacement for a PA who quit in a huff (can't blame her and I don't care) while House says he woke up in the wrong bed. "Any bed you're in is the wrong one," Nurse Jeffrey mutters. STOP TRYING TO BE EVIL NURSE BRENDA. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I can't believe they gave Nurse Jeffrey his own freaking iPhone app series and not Evil Nurse Brenda. It's just wrong. "That's not what your momma said," House says, adding a sassy finger snap and an "OH! Snap." Enh, that was weak. I'm sure if House wasn't so hungover he could've done better. "I'll be going now. To Human Resources," Nurse Jeffrey says. Well, that was a bit awesome. He'll never be Evil Nurse Brenda, but I might be able to accept Nurse Jeffrey after all. Too bad for him that PPTH has no Human Resources department, what with Cuddy being the person calling around desperately for a new PA. Or maybe they do have an HR department, but it's staffed by relatives of the PPTH security team and therefore completely useless. "He started it," House says to Cuddy, which is a good point. More quietly, he says he fell asleep in a neighbor's kid's bed. Fortunately for everyone (most especially the New Jersey Sex Offenders department who would have to deal with House forever after), Esteban spent the night in his mother's bed and not his own. "How drunk were you?" Cuddy asks, horrified. She puts on her Caring and Concerned Look and asks if he's okay. "You shouldn't be drinking at all, much less -- " House cuts her off: "you sound just like Esteban's mom." Why didn't we get to see that scene? It was probably awesome, and had a lot of screaming. Cuddy tries to order House to work in the Clinic, but Chase walks up and House uses him as an excuse to get out of Clinic duty, saying he has a case. As soon as they're out of Cuddy's earshot, House hopefully tells Chase to tell him that there is no real case. But there is.