House and Chase join Taub in the ER with Ted and Nicole. Ted can't speak and he fainted, but they've ruled out the most likely causes for both. House has an idea: Ted has cold feet and was faking. He proves this by asking Ted to roll on his side while House jabs him with a needle. "Ow!" Ted says. Oops! Busted. Ted claims that he couldn't talk until just now and insists that he wasn't faking. Nicole stands by him, but doesn't look very sure. House leaves with Taub in pursuit, saying he doesn't think Ted was faking. House says he doesn't think Taub called off his date with Maya. Oh, no, really? We have to deal with this AGAIN? Does anyone even care? Are there any viewers of this show on the edge of their seats waiting to find out what will happen in Taub's marriage to someone who only occasionally appears as a guest star? I guess it's better than watching Hadley and Foreman, but still. Taub says he's not as easy to read as House seems to think, and invites him out to dinner tonight to show how surprising he can be. Unsurprised, House says a quick "no thanks." Taub asks again, saying that he'd like a night away from his wife, who has been "very grateful" since Taub told her he wouldn't cheat on her. Mrs. Taub has some serious self-esteem issues. She's "very grateful" to her husband for not cheating on her? Really? House agrees to it on the condition that Taub brings Mrs. Taub. Taub says the whole point of this was to get away from her. House doesn't believe him, and says either Mrs. Taub comes to dinner with them or he won't go. Taub agrees to his terms.
Ted and Nicole stand awkwardly outside the PPTH ER. "You believe me, right?" he asks. "Of course I believe you," Nicole says disbelievingly. To remove any doubt, Ted says they should take a cab the nearest marriage place and get married right now. They still have their wedding clothes and everything. Nicole considers it, but takes too long, and Ted starts to cough and then not breathe at all. Cut to House entering the lightbox room, where the Cottages are looking at scans of Ted's lungs. He has a pleural effusion, which means there truly is something wrong with him and he wasn't faking it after all. And House should probably be ashamed of himself for discharging an unhealthy man from PPTH, but I'm sure he isn't. The ER already ruled out infections, but House doesn't trust them (with good reason, I'm sure), and orders the Cottages to test Ted for infections again as well as break into his home to look for toxins. Hadley knows all about Ted despite never having actually met him, and says he only moved in with Nicole three months ago, so they should look at his home before that, too.